the phone i like had finally came to me !! simply love it!! i can't stop looking a it... hehe... it's in good conditions, even though it's a second hand one...

was browsing the shops at TM during dinner time when I saw this braclet !! wow... love it at first sight !! so i bought it !!yeah... feeling really satisfied.. only $9.90 !!

saw 2 yandao at my workplace... melted instantly !! lolz... seems to be 20+ years old... drooling ~ mature, cool looking... so that's my type ! but i'm just looking at them... haha... they my seems to old for me... haha...

that customer came again !! in black also, this time found out where he lived and his name !! haha... but still no actions... it's enough to see only... 2nd time a guy made me melt !! first was Kunda !!

saying the truth, the friends in my workplace is better than those in my school... or could I say, I don't feel like staying in contact with my schoolmates anymore !! keke...

erm... don't really know what happen to me now... that's surly not a mood swing... cus I seems to be sad in the morning till now... I maybe smile sometimes, but really I feel sad/dead...

when to friendster, saw Alvin's (ex-staff in my workplace) testimonial for me... he's going to temp. staff's gathering !! felt glad but still not smiling his words was quite touching actually... quite only... not because he said that my testimonial is touching... but really from the bottom of my heart... he care about me !

ytd meet up with 'Mr Nua', Spenser, ate in RM food court... he kept coughing... haiz... he still refuse to consult a doctor... he kept finding topic when we're (me and Swing) are quiet... why cant he stay quiet awhile ?! *scratch head*

dinner time... cus Yonghe changed shift with 'Speaker', Darrell, he joined us... but why Linda join in ?! grrr....she's just too lame/noisy !! plus 2 men department promoter... after we finish our food... i saw a man putting his 2 fingers at his zip... so i tell Swing that he was worrying that his zip will flew open.. Yonghe heard that too... and we're laughing with others scatching heads... after that, on our way back to pinch in... Yonghe told everything to Mr Nua... guess what... he added on dirty jokes!! saying that the man wants to hold his 'cigratte'... I laugh and laugh... now Swing and the others was scatching heads...

hm... manage to pass the time w/o Hui Kang and Kennedy... cus they're the ones that 'entertain' us...

on X'mas eve, went out to celebrate with Yong He, Zi Jie, Spens and Swing at Changi Airport... went S-11 eat, den when together with Yong He to find Yan Yee... and exchange presents... Yan Yee finally accepted Yong He... hooray !! i'm so desprated to go to the airport to see the air planes !! on our way there, Zi jie put his arm at my shoulder, feeling uneasy.. but didn't really think so much... (i've been suspecting that he have feelings for me)past few days, I had been guessing who he likes... hm... he turn to me and ask:'I think you know the ans.' I knew what he's saying but I just don't dare to face 'the qns'... reached the airport, he kept asking if I want to know who he like.. and of cus I'll say no, i gave up guessing... know that I'm making him upset and feeling guilty... but after that felt better... one my way back home in cab, I message him the truth of y i'm acting blur...

Ytd, went to Metro Temp. Staff gathering bbq... or a X'mas celebration... Andy turned up... sian 1/2... as I reached there, I had been waiting Zi Jie to turn up... but becus of his church service, he finally came at 8 plus 9... even Kennedy and Hui kang who went to a 4days camp found out me and Zi Jie thing... haiz...Reubens came around that time too... he wanted a talk about some personal things... Shh... i turned and saw Zi jie's jealousy look... I admit, at that time(ytd), I have some feelings... but this feeling I nv felt before... it's so diff. and I'm still not sure how I feel for him...my feelings seems mixed up... Swing kept telling Zi jie to bring me for a walk and talk... by the whispering I knew what she meant... I was shy... but it's so natural when he ask me for a walk... when i'm with him, i'm very comfortable in saying stuffs not said betweens friends... sat down by Pasir ris beach talking bout each other stuff... he ask again if i have the ans to 'the qns' i said that I still duno... chatting and chatting till I say abt Andy and me... told him that he surely have more chance than Andy... he was happy... he said if he could hold my hands, but i rejected him... mayb later... he offered to send me home... but i rejected again... just as we wanted to go home, Zi jie was walking along with me... we were talking and people around us was like transparent !! opps !! :X finally I ask if Zi Jie want to send me to the bus stop... he just looks so happy !! think we're together just like that...

today, Zi jie put his arm on my shoulder in the lift, he knows that I don't like being so close in public... just nice when the door opened, IVY from his department came in... his timing was so accurate, he put down his hand... phew!! about to go home... I felt sad to leave... went to find him before going, talked... i put my hand on the shift, and his hands covered mine... starting felt quite uneasy but get over it, he still said that I didn't touch enough my hand ... haiz...

X'mas eve = Yong he's happiest day...
X'mas = Mine and Zi Jie's day

ytd nite after work, Jie send me back home... Swing left me and went to KFC with the same group of people (Horng ann, des, Ah Phua, supplier, spenser)... going home with Hui Kang, Kennedy and Joseph.... Hui Kang kept asking us to prove that we're in a relationship... -,-" cus i was shy at that time... eh...

after borading the bus, Kennedy put Jie's hand over me... cus with them, i'll feel awkward... later Jie offer to hold hands cus of Hui kang... fine fine !! he pull my hand over his... after that we alight the stop... SHIT !! schoolmates around... alert !! that person kept looking at me... grr... ya i'm in the same sch with u, shd u look at me so long to make sure that ?! Jie offered to hold hands again... i rejected it... it's like he always want things to happen faster than I wanted it... felt really uneasy...

dotz dotz dotz ... :speechless: Jie just called, something bad within us... I felt so sorry, it's all my fault ! :cry:

just now, after work, or after all my farewell are being said... he sent me to Outram park MRT... in the train, he looks sad, it really hurts, making him feel sad mad me really guilty... I just can't stop feeling the guilt... I don't know what was he thinking and he don't know what I want... :sad: I allow him to hold my hands but in a natural way and not asking for it... of cus i'll say no !! (JIE SEE THIS) why didn't I let go in the bus that time ?! why I didn't reject you when u put ur arm behind me ?! why didn't i reject you, when I know that you got the wrong meaning (what I mean sort of accept you is you have the chance but i did not accept) ?! why didn't u figure it out ?! :bursting out in tears:

He called and told me, those things I don't wish to hear (I don't want to break) I know how you feel about me, the moments together are so sweet... I even felt butterflies... if he really want it, I have no words to say.......................................................................

it's not ending... after a long conversation on MSN, I burst out in tears... thinking that it's going to be over... so heartbroken... however, every tear I dropped is worth while, we finally sort things out hopefully... it really hurts man... you are the one who made me happy and you are the one who hurt me most... but it's part of a relationship... every sadness/happiness made us closer, understanding for each other... well, everything is all right now...

received a SOS phone call by Swing... haiz... she really break Spens heart... an emotional guy like him, is so so vulnerable... ya, he cried like end of the world... but yet he love her more and more everytime she hurt him... haiz... why don't he give up ?!

Luckily, I managed to cheer him up... :grin: by changing the topic and add some funny things in... hey hey, it's a secret of what I told him... :X oppz ! keke... felt really happy that I make an emotional person smile again... that's the first time I'm worried bout ppl like him in this situation and it's the first time I cheer someone... METRO friends/buddies are that worth for me to help !!! :sticking tongue out: In the end, I settled things, by telling him, Swing will always be his friend when he cud face her...