slept at 8 this morning, cus lingz and swing came my hse 'bai nian', played blackjack, till abt 12plus, and swing left b4 our last game... after that changed to mahjong ! -argh- almost lost all the money I won... I wanna win the money back ! must have faith in myself ! -lol- slept at 8 woke up at 3pm ! lol.. people going work/school, I just go to dreamland, student happily going home, I just woke up ! -lol-

yeah ! it's 1 feb ! payday at last ! shd b collecting tml, just a few hundred bucks enuff for me to enjoy for like mayb a day ?! haha... nvm, have a new job, from my cousin ! it's so good to become a manager !

omg ! just got back, heard news on O level results !! its nxt wk !! omg... MOE is giving every O candidate a huge blow, it's like kinda last minute call !!! in the newspaper it states 8-15 and it's confirm 10 feb, will annouce ltr ! argh !! Richard seems soo cool eh ! but seriously, he has his point, no matter what we're getting our results, it's a matter of getting it early or later... and isn't it better for us to know early?!

anyway, just saw MK, DM, KS and richard, missed that Jonny (frm my class)... haha... lucky I didn't see him, or i'll freeze ! -haha- jk ! bought a skirt !!! goodlash mascara, 3 facial mask, blackheads remover strips... finally got to watch Memories of a Geisha ! superb ! seems like I'm really enjoying myself ! haha... Kelvin intro I not stupid too, haiz... I still have Fun with Dick and Jane, tt movie starring Gillian and stephen fung, Da VinCi, Season for love, Underworld : Evolution, the Pink Panther and the Heirloom... omg... so many movies ! there's 3 this mth, more to be 'discovered' !!! haha...

slept at 3, helping deming with his blog, to me it's still incomplete eh, but he just want itthat way... in the morning, some phone call just woke me up, but I just ignored and go back to dreamland till 2pm... mum woke me up, she's fast !! she came back from her check up! ate lunch and when to my neighbourhood temple... its so hot outside, I couldn't bear the heat.. got home, took a shower and off to bed 'again'... dad went to collect his motor for servicing, so it's left with mum and me at home... kind of a gloomy day, ytd night I was coughing and sneezing my lungs out... felt terrible.. argh ! though I feel better, my nose is still not feeling great, and its been long... argh... shd be sth wrong with my bed position... haiz...

argh !! I was looking for courses Cut-Off-Point (COP), guess what ?! the course I'm dying to get in have a COP(last year) of 18 !!! BUT, intake is 90 and 150 for diff. schools... sooo lil ?! for those who wanted Hospitality course, last yr there's a COP of 13 ! somemore, that COP is pulled down cus of the large no. of candidates! with the intake of 190 for TP.. but there're new hopitality course this year in SP and NP ! intake 90 each school ! good luck to all my friends, as long as u get into the course u wanted, ur lucky enough !

went to NP open hse, kinda interesting... but, just waiting for Johnny too long ! 40 mins !! -argh- and it's not the first time !!! 5 ppl waiting for him eh ! took bus to tamp., it's so crowded when johnny came, and it's like the 7th bus !!! -omg- I'm so afraid will knock onto Richard... and I've no space to move, Richard beside me, my other side was another guy, so my legs have limited space to stand = center of gravity is little = I may fall when the bus stops and most prob. b pushing my body to Richard's ... but I didn't -phew- when BK at tamp., we're so hungry, Johnny warned us not to go to beaches and stuffs, and Richard start laming with him ! -lol- which makes Johnny more lamer !! "ya the ppl on top, blah blah!"

empty stomachs filled ! headed to NP ! which was 21 stops away ! -omg- but at least we've enjoyed ourselves there ! after that went to town... AGAIN ! i've almost had it to go down town... noticed there's Chingay, which means alot of people !!! make way through the crowded streets of orchard to PS... caught some parts of the Chingay ! no comments, like pervious years... haha

 

so I just came back, feeling really dizzy ! cus of taking cab... it's always like that...

went down to metro, giving Maggie a surprise celebration ! happy birthday ~ the cheese cake is nice !! but too much makes it 'not nice'... hehe... thanks to Dawn for that cake, Ain for being busy cus of me and Niven... finally got to see Virginia... Maggie went to perm back her hair ! and also Niven is ever so funny with his 'lame' jokes ! -lol- this was first ever bday celebration by working friends for maggie !

went to catch I not stupid too with mum and dad ! better than I not stupid, this is touching, I didn't cry, but my eyes just watered... more funny also... I love that part where the parents read the blog and found out lots of things !! also that part where ChenCai's dad gt beaten !

have to sleep early today... that ride on the cab is making feel so dizzy... have to take some rest also, slept at 2 plus 3am everyday !

chatted with Rek till 3am... telling him a 'bed time story' ! haven't finish the story also... it's ever ending... lol... also browsing my msn msg history, so many happy moments eh ! also plan a couple of events with Rek for the class ! I don't want my class people to miss out the fun !!

ltr gonna submit my application form for new job and starting work soon I suppose...

went to apply the form for job... that staff there is soo rude ! we just wanna apply, so you just have to give us the damn form !! who cares who send us there ?! ask so much still let us wait while she do her own things ! I've been starring at her till she hand us the form ! don't think she's an 'anutie' (no offence), she can look down on us ! I'll get into that job for sure ! who cares if she's a superviousor ?! the MANAGER have a higher post than her ! and so what there's no job vancancies ?! I'll make sure she see me working there !!!

after numerous nagging by my mum to bank in all my ang bao money, I finally counted it ! it is about $200+ better than last yr... alot of people gave me $10 note ! but there were 2 people who put in five $2 notes... agrh... like making the ang bao look so nice, stuff with lots of money ! -lol- will be going down CP any time to bank in and also update my bank book ! see if Kelvin transfer the blazer money to the right acc. or not ! haha... my bank acc. is getting back the money at last, ever since 04... phew ! finally, I managed to bring back the money ! also decided to get myself a Dr card ! so I won't withdraw money from my bank acc. !! :D

so today is the release of O lvls results ! this morning, was awaken by my mum and I didn't get a great night sleep also... not because of results, I didn't even bother about that... I just didn't sleep well... slacked this morning till 1 plus, Swing called to discuss on the poly courses... after that justset off from home ! set off at 2pm, went mall buy black hair spray, take our time to go school... late, which I expect to... but not too late, still got to hear the talk on how well the school did... though there's improvements, I ain't happy about the distinctions... so my a/c did not get a distinction... haiz... kinda sad... but also happy that my combine Hum. gt a grade I didn't expect to get ! wow! -cheers- results was kinda okay, no comments... at least I could op. for the course I wanted ! :D

I'm so tired now... gonna slp early today ! tml, will be visiting my aunt who went for overseas trip during CNY (first few days) ! and this time I'll have 'face' to tell them I could give her and ans for my studies ! Hope she's all right ! I'll pray for her weak health ! ~god bless her health~

went to visit my aunt, but she wasn't there... so went down to 'Si Ma Lu', saw Eddie and also XingLong ! after that went to bugis, saw Weijun, then went to take MRT, saw Bro Spens ! then I went to CityLink, saw that Jyphone, but didn't buy, cus they don't decorate it for me... so walked to Marina Square, saw Elisa ! -omg- so many ppl from Metro ?! so does this means Metro ppl go out more often ?!

I'm damn happy now ! KS is my lucky star !!! ah !!!!!!!! I'm very high now... though one more person know my secret, but at least tt person made me 'lucky' ! -lol- this few days I'd been so call 'under a trap'... a trap i finally knew...

was kinda concern about Valentine day this year... cus everyone around me seems to have a mate...  from this date, 12/2... there's 2 more days ! haiz... I've been all alone every V.day and I'm kinda use to it, know why ? cus I'm attached to school work ! haha... so this year, no school work ! I'll be bored and SAD !! but I'll try to think positively !!!

I just recover from sadness... sad for DM, and also that I'm single... just read DM latest blog entry... really sad to see a guy post an entry like that... felt like crying with him...

I've a crush ! I'm just wish that he knew that I was always waiting... I like him alot alot alot ! ever since I fall for him, sad is for him...

today, woke up feeling fresh ! smaller eye bags ! -yeah- haha... ytd broke my record of chatting ! I chatted abt 10+hrs ! haha... with Kelvin... so we just spent a day like that... -.-"

today, went to Balestier for my grandfather's 'ji ri' with mum and god-parents... after that went Chinatown... haiz... kinda boring for me.. and it's so sunny !! -argh-

after chinatown, went to sengkang, meet Swing ! waited for kinda long, cus we didn't say what time to meet up... chatted abt lots of stuffs, nth is un-chat-able... lol... haiz... also say lots of girls receiving flowers... just couldn't stop telling me its Vday tml...  I don't want flowers, but I hope I have a valentine ! I hope my crush knew that I'm always waiting for him ! but I don't know how long I can wait... haiz... define love ?! love is a passion... Love needs no reason... argh... I shall forget the date for now... anyway, I'll wear a skirt if anyone call me out tml ! a lady-like skirt! hehe... (to Rek: no cycling trip for me tml... go do sth meaningful for ur HER ! good luck 

i was in who lives near you, now, I don't really login regularly... NV boi is gone long ago... it's like I nv see him again ! haha... he disappeared out of nowhere ! and he age stays a mystery to me... lol.. I just recalled him by the way... I've almost forgotten about him ! haha...

okay, back to the point... that web, I felt so bad... cus I couldn't reply to people... they send me messages on 'care to be friends' all sorts... so are they that desprate to make more female friends ?! anyway, I didn't reply any of their messages, one reason is I couldn't, cus need to register somemore I think there's a charge... so I forget about that... and I find it kinda irritating... somemore, some guys just added me to their friend list... wth... I'm not interested in knowing them ! argh... kinda pissed la... they really have bad methods to know someone... omg... wat a pity !

its Vday now ! haha... dad not working, so everyone is at home... haiz... Vday morning willl be dragged for breakfast... I'll stay in bed... just slp all day... no date this yr... haiz... sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad

haiz... in the morning, I was hiding under my covers till my parents drag me out of bed... went to kovan by bus... saw sth kinda coincidence, that make me kinda sad... I just have to tell myself I'm optimistic over and over again... so Im all alone today... with my parents ! lol

everytime I feel sad, I think of the first day I know someone... my feelings, etc... wahaha...

just now I saw Richard and Xf... shd b xf buying flowers ! xf wear till very handsome eh ! though I don't really know him, hope he reall enjoy himself  ! I don't think they saw me, cus I kinda 'siam'... lol

hope Vday is better for Swing ~

/edited
coincidence is true ! I have 80% sure its true !!! I have my ways !

ok... Vday started sad but ended kinda happy ! haha...stayed at home all day long ! after my breakfast/lunch ! wished alot people Happy valentine's day, and so do I ! haha... though I'm still consider single ! if that someone just ask again ! I'll give him an answer ! :D

seriously, I waited... and is still waiting... the feeling is really not good...

omg... I slept at 2plus and just woke up... which is going to 8 am ! this makes me slept 6+ hrs ! but feeling kinda 'high' ! lol... my eye bags are so dark ! haha ! how will my first day at work be like ? to be countiuned ....

omg... I slept at 2plus and just woke up... which is going to 8 am ! this makes me slept 6+ hrs ! but feeling kinda 'high' and very hungry ! lol... my eye bags are so dark ! haha ! how's my first day at work ? oh... horrible ! its soo boring... but at least I get to know more people ! the people are kinda kind to me ! esp. promoter Lily ang ! guess what ? I knew another Kelvin ! haha... he's my dept. staff !  I also met another Jonathan ! lol... 17 this yr ! have a baby face... lol... who cares ?! waha... lucky there's joanne (bunk) and jonathan to keep us accp. I'm just so so boring !!! I'm off tml ! work for a day n off another ! cool ~ first time eh ! haha... anyway, I've blood-shot eyes ! omg... my eyes are realy tired !

its the first time I want someone so so so so much ! I couldn't describe it... I'm so desprately in love ! I seriously am... argh... I couldn't control ! I love I love I love............ HIM...

ever since class BBQ I wanted to write about an entry on my sec sch live... though it wasn't that smooth for me ! but looking back in time... I gain lots of things from people laughing at me and I'm more independent now... so it's a thanks for you 'people' !!!

sec 1 - the worst year I had in sec sch. I was despised cus of my skin prob.! 'close classmates' stay away from me, talk behind my back, when I did nth. I've no partner, all alone... till I found my very best friend, PY ! from then on, my life shine, I live in my world with her... everytime in canteen, we 2 are the ones laughing at almost anything. overall, that was the most united class ! and also most naughty class !

sec 2 - 'close classmates' all spilt to different classes. but still will be together. they did tried to separate my and PY. days alone are spent like months. slowly, depression came, cus of friendship and family prob. at that time, how I wish I could end my life, but tears came out by thinking what will happen next to my family. I walked through depression alone. after PY and I got back our friendship.

sec 3 - 'close classmates' have a final 'quarrel' among each other. and they all separated. I'm also being bullied ! actually by only one classmate, but it seems like the whole class was behind her, except PY. walked that rocky roads out with PY. I'm always despised by my skin prob. at that time for no reason. maybe at that time I'm those that were easily bullied. but I didn't care much, till tt 'person' turn the target to her close friend after a quarrel.

sec 4 - 'close classmates' became my friends. I did not hate them for those torturous days they gave me. they're just friends that step into my world once in awhile. only for one who became my good friend. though sec 4 was kinda alright, but still have some period of torturous days gave by that 'person'. my skin prob. was controlled by then. those days become better.

sec 5 - best year ever, classmates became my friends and to my close friends. I've best friend, Peiyong. Close friend/sister, Swing. Buddy Rek. Lucky Star, Kok Sheng. a close friend who think alike, Choon Hua. a close friend who share his laughter, QiYou. Chairman/organiser, JiaMao. Jie Mei, YongHe. freezer, Jonathan. and also the rest of my friends/ex-classmates I've nth to describe them, people like... Lingz, Mag, Michelle, Caris, Eliza, Huizhen, JunLi, HuiShan, LiKeow, XinYu, Jia Yin (top scorer) and PeiJen. guys are... Junwei (Wei Ge), MengKiat, LianKwang (*** joker), Eugene (Xbox player), Adrian, Jason Chua (fat dog) and Anson. 5yrs teacher, Mr Nazri, became Uncle Naz ! haha... what else can I say ?! most of them gave me the support I wanted, and what I am now, is what they gave me ! thanks for all the support, esp. PY, Bubby Rek, Jason Chua and Swing !

may your future shine more brightly than the northstar ! ;p

Im sad... I finally cried... Im so so hurt... so this time its time that god play me out ?! how I wish I could throw all my feelings to him now... tell him or tell him not ? suffer in slience or throw it to him ? I'm in a state of confusion... again...

anyway thanx to everyone that was there for me...

i'm feeling better, or can i say I've recover ! lol... though woke up kinda sad...

after feeling sad ytd, Rek said he read my previous entry on sec sch life ! he told me of the things that happened in sec 2 ! i didn't notice I'm such a 'lame' person then. cus Rek is sitting beside me in sci. class, and we're always laughing at anything. there's once, everyone stopped and looked at us. lol ! somemore, that teacher even thought we're together ! hey, we're just laughing all the time doesn't mean we're together right ?! and sth I just found out !!! that busybody, ZERLINA LEE, go around spreading that we're together! she's so dumb ! somemore, cus of that, me and Rek became 'fake couples' ! so we go around faking people ! waha... I als rmb playing catching in sec 1, the DM told the whole scold, though its kinda embrrassing, we still played on. after that more and more people started to play by themselves. that's when we stop playing. haha.

though there fun moments, the sad ones affected me most ! I live strong now... its alright ! haha

today wasn't that boring... or can i say not boring ! haha... get to know Bee Khim ! and got to know alot of stuff on our dept. ! also became closer to Jonathan, Joanne and another promoter ! lunch time, went with Bee Khim and Jonathan... ate chicken rice AGAIN !! haha... after that tea break, Bee Khim went to smoke, and I just have a sip of $0.20 drink... dinner was fun ! went to arcade with Bee Khim, Jonathan, Joanne and tt promoter. played photohunt ! haha... after that went to eat, and back to arcade for daytona. I gt 3rd... cus I hit my car twice, and missed tt chance of winning ! luckily there are young promoters, or else I couldn't imagine me with all aunties... I'll freak out !

and I'm working 5 days a wk ! but shorter hours ! wow ! going home earlier is so good ! ;p haha... almost forget to punch my card ! :X

more promoters came today ! 6 ppl including me and swing, went to lunch and dinner ! it was great fun ! dinner, that Eng Hao, a joker, cus said too much craps ! now working here, promoters are all over, ranges from 17-50 over ! lol... and though I've known alot of promoters and getting well with them, Im better off with YOUNG promoters ! lol.... XD

oh ya... Jonathan got me a pen, but i broke it ! I felt kinda bad ! but anyway, shd thank him la ! I'm just too careless ! ;p nice knowing him ! cute daring guy eh ! haha... :X he touched a electric eel/catfish and a anemone before !! Im really wondering if he's a woundering soul ?! haha... opps !

I'm getting the hang of a sales assist. ! >.< maybe after this job, I may want to consider a promoter job ! waha ! anyway, there's a job waiting for me also ! haha !

everytime lunch and dinner, we plan to split ourselves up... cus we're too big a group ! and we're not allowed to do so ! sianz... 

today, dad came to find me ! haha... I'm doing fine okay ! lol... ;p argh... just rmb sth ! my bank a/c no. ! omg... I need it ! anyway, did sales pretty well ! can handle most stuff too ! wee~

tml is monday ! lesser customers, lesser sales, means more boring ! argh

erm... I have a feeling that someone have a crush on me ! omg... i don't like being a crush, but I like being love ! haiz...

told swing that I felt someone have a crush on me ! damn! kena 'suan' by her!

things are always different from me and swing... good for her, bad for me ! so its sad for me lo ! haiz...

even if love came knocking on my door, I haven't totally given up on this feeling.  time will tell !

wah... took abt an hr plus to finish thinking this entry ! lol

erm... went to the movies with choonhua and caris ! finally watched pink panther ! great show, damn funny ! 'I would like to have a hamburger' ... lol...

after that kinda moodswing... cus dong jing yue tuan - xiang xing wei lai flash across my mind. which this song made me rmb of the past. its like repeating on someone now and previously I'm the victim. haiz... what to do... I'll try to forget and try to accept this one. time will tell ~

I dont want people to be sad cus of me... no matter what I hope people around me to be happy ! don't ever feel sad for anything and anyone... think positively ! and enjoy life !

I felt that there's sth missing in my life. like i'm feeling so cold and I need a warm hug to bring me alive. I'm needed it since 04. haiz... prove it to me that it has come.

i think that the feeling is fading away... im finall forgetting. however, i just spent time thinking and imagining stuffs. thinking that will I be happy ? am I pitying him ? is he just a crush ? there's just so many qns to think about, what I can say is that time will tell. time will tell how many % of chance does he have. so time will tell. I just don't want to force. let it be as it flow, or let it be it shd b.

its like everything is happening again ! cus what is happening now seems to happen in the past when I'm the victim, but now 'someone' is the victim... and the other party is me.

I dont like thursdays ! there's soo lil customers today !! argh.. it so hard to past time. lucky I don't wait for the time to pass... I chat with the cashiers, help them do doggy bag ! woho ! out of metro still can do doggy bag eh ! waha...

most promoters are off today ! argh... hardly anyone to talk to ! somemore the rain makes it more worst ! lesser customers ! argh... my target how ?! I also don't know how much is my target !

tml gng out with my 5B 'family'.. -lol- that's what the Ng bros call ! haha...  Im so looking forward to it ! ;p

just came back from east coast park ! -woho- 4 guys n 2 girls. got there and rented 3 double seated bicycles. Qiu, my driver is so dangerous !!! kept speeding to Rek and Mao's bike and 'TAP' on them. I was so scared. what if it crash ?! -lol- cycle to the dead end and felt thirsty and the rain is coming. so chiong back to 7-11. but in the end, it did not rain. -.-" bought big gulp. finish it all. full. return our bikes. walked all the way to east coast lagoon, food village. which is gng back to the end. omg.

finally reached lagoon. have a great feast ! yum yum. bloated. after that took a long scroll back to the underpass. it tooks 40mins. phew. finally reached home now. tired. but still have to wait till my clothes are washed, or else there's no white polo tee to wear for work !

hm... today, there's a new staff, if im not wrong. handsome eh. lol. he asked me sth today abt the $2 printer. -waha- he's kinda lonely, going for dinner alone.

its a hectic day, i'm rushing up and down for customers ! finally can rest -phew- my sales is $2039.02. three thousand more to go to hit my target. but yet, I still don't know my commission. hope there's as much customers as today for tml !

ytd, im moodless for like the whole day. though I have a reason, but its kinda confidential. haiz. all I can say is that im caught in the middle. somemore, i still have to smile all day to serve customers. I hit my 1wk target too !

off today. rotting at home. but I hope, on thursday when im off, i'll be going out at least. Just wanted to make myself unavaliable on that day, with some confidential reason again.

I feel bad for everything. everything i did and plan to do. where's the cold-blooded me ?! where has 'that me' go to ?! now im so soft-hearted.

came home from tamp. saw final destination 3. it was alright, not as gruesome as my friends said, maybe cus they describe every detail to me. or maybe i'm prepared for those gruesome stuff. my nxt movie is underworld:evolution ! haha. after that scroll in the malls. and settle in Mac. for HOURS ! chatting on everything. lol. another outing on thursday. i'm off again ! lol

I just set a bomb on someone. omg. hope there's someone there for that person ! im sorry for him. but ive tried. just that it don't work. i can't force it, the one getting hurt is still him. so, he's the 3rd person. haiz. its life.

serve me right !! today, in the beginning, i felt really bad. guilty. for what Ive done. after that, i ate chocolate cake ! its chocolate ! hope my rash don't comes. then I had a massive stomach ache. omg. luckily, i eased myself. lol. ive plan everyday's target. i must hit $1k per day. and my wk's target is $5k set by manager. and ive 2 days off. so each day, i must hit $1k ! today's sales was $1.6K ! wahaha