have been MIA for like 5days. haha. bought a disney 1000 pieces puzzle and it's 90% done ! haha. which is like 2 days ago. hehe. i believe that i can complete in one day cus this puzzle i only fixed it during the night. hehe

okay here goes what happen during my MIA period after my chalet. on sat, 30 sept, baked cookies ! this time well done ! its crispy >.<
also made alphabets on the cookies ! those stored at home is with whipped cream ! love those !

went to dear's aunt's house to delivery my cookies ! then headed back to dear's home on dear's dad car.

was kinda shock when dad called me offering to give me a lift home. actually dear is locking me up for the night, dear was going home for that night, but plans are for me to get my punch card. so too bad i have to go home.

while waiting for dad to come, im planning my surprise the next morning for dear which dear already guessed. not fun... suppose to go there around 9am walking sliently to dear's room and wake him up.

really felt empty lying alone in my bed. i guess awkward is the word for that feeling. like the bed is so wide to toss and turn. and like the chill lying in my air condition room without dear hugging me to sleep. I MISS MY DEAR !

on sun, 31 sept, went to dear's house early in the morning for breakfast. dad also offered me a lift ! haha. maybe cus i woke him up. my plan failed ! dear woke up when i just went off from home. ;/ creep into dear's room while he's bathing sitting in his bed waiting for him. haha. he's shocked to see me i guess. haha

the prata is great, its at jurong east. so its dear's aunt, sis, bro-in-law and the both of us. then head down to jurong west, dear and his bro-in-law went for a haircut. while waiting for them, finally have the chance to chat with dear's sis. haha. i mean topic. >.<
then went down to parkway parade to get my punch card signed for my pay. oh ya, im no longer working in the weekend. only working for roadshows for tekmedia. looking for job again. but seems that im to lazy to look for one. ;p

after parkway, went down to plaza singapura to get my $10 back, deposit of the happy coat and the badge when i used to work there. however, someone took my happy coat and im left with my badge, luckily azim offered to take my deposit and returned it to me when i drop by some other day.

sat in the kopitiam when dear's having lunch facing puzzle world. and dear's sis is fixing a paranoma winne the pooh puzzle. fixing puzzles is my fave past time !! haha. so with the temptation. ive decide to get the disney puzzle displayed in the shop. but i bought to 1000 pieces than the 2000 pieces one. i dont even know if there's space for 2000 pieces puzzle on my wall. went looking around in the shop. but its SOLD OUT! damn it.

went down to bugis cus i remember seeing the puzzle there. and somemore, we can get my cute watch dear bought for me at bugis and my j square bag for dear's aunt. people there are like ants in their nest. and the weather is humid !! damn it. after buying my puzzle went to search for the watch. the cart is GONE ! actually thinking of buying a cute pooh puzzle for dear's sis, but cus of limited cash, we decided not to get (which in the end, heard dear's sis was thinking of getting it also.. -.-") okay.. my moodswings while heading to bugis street to get the bag. deep down in my heart, im cursing and swearing everyone who is obstructing my way. damn it. can they just let me be a kan jion spider for one day?!

was damn pissed ! dear scolded me for being so easily agitated. okay, i knew i was wrong. while waiting for the bus, i was controlling my tears. yet again. i didn't wanted to talk. i just want to be slient. when we boarded the bus heading to dear's home for dinner, sis preparing dinner, i cried. dear told me his sorry about scolding me. its okay actually i was wrong... ;'( after i wipe away my tears, more tears came rolling down.

every words dear said to me on the way back, made my tears roll. those touching words dear said. those sorry words dear said. every single word. how hopeful am i to have dear around. thank god, thank fate, thank whoever/whatever for allowing me and dear together !

after having dinner, dear went home with me. guess bought of us cant be apart for even just one night. ;p lying alone in our beds feeling empty.

then ytd, went to submit my punch card. i hated to walk that long pathway to office. oh ya, working for the harvey norman warehouse sale ! and its the last 3days. not the beginning days ! haha. lucky me i guess ! then headed to dear's aunt's house for dinner ! had drunken chicken. though the alcohol is strong, i didn't felt dizzy. only felt hot ! >.<

slept throughtout the bus journey home on dear's lap. haha. >.< then later when we reached home. dear's the one feeling tired. why his reason for not sleeping in the bus cus he don't want me to hit my head when the bus is shaking. ;/ while dear was sleeping, im fixing my puzzle ! hehe. which makes it 90% done. or maybe 95% ?!

though i slept really late, no idea what time, felt fresh this morning ! strange eh ?! went BBDC for dear's evaluation test.. and before that he was pestering me about what if he fail and stuff. kind of annoyed. should think of ways to defend such things eh ?! lmao. after his first attempt, he eventually FAILED ! -.-" then went to booked for the next slot. and passed ! phew. haha.

went to watch rob-b-hood ! its a GREAT show ! its funny and touching. but to me its not touching to the extend to make me cry. its a worth the tix ! ;p

then went to dear's aunt's house for dinner ! im very full ! when bro-in-law came, he bought a box of mooncake !! with egg and nuts ! yum yum. no matter how full i'll still eat ! hehe. went back dear's home. dear's mum just came back from malaysia. she bought mooncake ! lmao. again, i took a bite. haha. remembering her telling me its malaysia's mooncake ! lmao. isn't it suppose to be the same ?! only the cleaniness will be diff. haha. ;p

5 more days to 2nd month with dear ! ;p wonder how are we spending it. both of us are having our holidays, we're FREE !! >.<

cookies i baked for dear. ;D

then>
slept>

haiz.. heard from shirley that she've broke up with kenny.. hm.. didn't ask futher.. one broken heart with an exprience gained. maybe its better off like that, maybe its not. life is always unfair. kenny have been tolerate a lot. and he's the 2nd guy i met who is so devoted and true to his partner. the first one is my dear ! hehe.

felt kinda boostful recently. maybe cus the monthly thing is nearing. ;/ knew i was wrong, but my moods just change so fast during this period of the month. argh.. just hope that i screw nth in my life. ;/

didn't turn up for work today. reached home at 2plus in the dawn. =X after work yesterday, went to a pub in serangoon gardens. its my first time going into a pub. im noob i guess. its fun ! there's live band and daniel's mixing.

drank chivas mixed with green tea. did drank a number of cups. was kinda dizzy when we left. shirley made her final decision to end the relationship with kenny. in everyone's eyes, its obivous how deeply kenny fell for shirley.. kenny had een through a lot more than shirley does (though shriley have her past relationships).. somehow though shirley said it's impossible to recover the relationship, but still there's some chances. its all up to kenny.

we reached before kenny and shirley. and while waiting, daniel was playing 5, 10, 15 with dear. haha. first round dear lost. omg. then 2nd round after the both came, daniel was the one that kept on losing. haha. the live and there was great ! great talent and great talent in their instruments. though the whole place was so darn smoky (which i dont like), its really irritating for the eyes, was really high ! stayed till 2am since the pub closes at 2. took a cab back home. our clothes were full of the stinky smell of smoke. after bathing, its sleeping time ! haha. >.<

woke up late this morning. and was dragged down to bugis.. so still feeling sleepy, dear and me went to bath, get dress and off we go. alighted at little india and went to tekka for lunch. then went to visit aunt at sim lim square. dear seems interested in the things my aunt's selling.

after praying, parted with mum and dad in bugis. went town after that. actually watching stay alive. but timing wasnt what we wanted. then went to taka to get my venzia ice cream. honestly, i've not been feeling great recently. that day at dear's place, saw him chatting with his ex. happily. whoever will feel jealous. somehow i cant say or express it out. after finishing my ice cream, i felt much better. it relieves my bad moods.

after finishing the ice cream, decided to went to PS to get my money, maybe catching a show. but didn't get back my money nor watching a show. ;/ on our way, stopped by at mos burger at emerald plaza for clam cowder. have the sudder feeling of drinking sth hot. but after drinking that, dear was not satisfied. and wanted long john's clam cowder. so reached PS, headed to long john for dinner. was really really full that night ! haha. went to daiso. bought stuff for present !!! haha. a 'scarf' and a neck strap with a bell. haha. ;p she's just so cute no matter what. haha.

woke up early this morning with my right eye swollen. argh. was quite serious so informed about my absence of work again.. dad applied his medical eye drop for me. though its better, with close look, its still swollen. itchy too.

stayed at home till my eye is slightly better and went to dear's house for dinner. bro-in-law cooking. thought of bringing present over, but cant bring her up on the bus and when i think of her vomitting, its another prob. wait till i got my licenese on 22 nov i'll bring her round about. haha. FTT on 17 oct. hehe. then its daily of driving lesson. ;p thanks the people in CDC and dad for the arrangement. felt like some minister's daughter. lmao.

threw my temper on dear this morning which cause him to have a headache. i didn't meant to. im really really really sorry. im very very wrong. and i cried. even if i didnt blame myself for his headache, felt pain to see him having his headache. ;(

spending the night in dear's house tonight. hope parents wont mind. =X

im still awake at 2.15am. i just couldnt get a comfortable position to sleep with a limited space. my right eye is itchy again, but this time ive my eye mo. ;D why is this happening to me. argh.. dear is sleeping soundly in his bed while im facing my laptop trying to feel really tired. oh gosh.. when will it be ?!

just came home from dear's place. woke up around 11am. have prata for breakfast ! hehe. its very nice ! even better than jln kayu. after that took 502 to town. catched world trade center. nice show ! but only cause me a drop of tear (im someone who rarely cry while watching touching movies). but dear thinks there's some parts boring. ;/

suppose to have dinner with dear's dad. but was cancelled. headed down to visit kevin. had our free drinks. heard that he'd been working since holiday starts. and he wanted to change a job. haiz.. like people around me were unhappy about their jobs. ;/

went back dear's place to returned his sis's bag which i brought out and took my things back. one the train journey back, i chose those songs that walked me through my sad moments from my past (waiting for dear). almost cried out when dear told me that he'll be happy just to make me smile/happy after he made me laugh.

its our 2nd month today. i almost forget. dear got a billabong wallet. actually i thought of paying, but dear refused. ;/ didn't got any 2nd month present for dear. ;( or maybe i didnt have the time to. haiz.. to comfort myself, at least we're spending time together. i suppose what i expected for myself wasn't done this month.. ;(

woke up this morning crying. in my dream, dear and me were shopping when his friend called him up and brought him to some house, suppose to be some house dear knew (i was following behind). then there's this planned vacation with dear's family and im joining. then, put of nowhere, dear's ex appeared. they were walking together chatting and holding hands with me following behind. then his ex went to hug him. this was when i scolded, "fuck you". and ran away with dear chasing behind me. was tolerating since they were holding hands. from jeaalousy changed to anger then to hatred and sadness.

woke up after that. went out the room looking for dear. he was bathing. then i went back to bed. as i think, drops of tears came rolling down after one another. till dear noticed that i was crying and calmed me down..

ytd went out with daniel, his gf, shirley and kenny. but daniel is still sleeping when dear, me met up with shirley and kenny. so headed down to town. then i have a sudden feeling of eating sushi. haha. then went wheelock for sakae while waiting for daniel. haha.

daniel was like ordering like no one's business. lmao. actually we're suppose to ordered 8 plates of fried tofu but kenny ordered another tofu. we were having sakae buffet so there's only limited plates to choose in the buffet. and the tofu kenny ordered is not included for the buffet and its $5.90 per plate. omg. the service staff even asked if our order is right. but everyone was blur and nodded our heads. lmao.

ltr they just sent 5 bowls of that, then we found out its the wrong one. then after eating the tofu, the manager told us that the tofu weren't included in the buffet. but luckily the service staff changed the rest of the tofu to fried tofu after sending 5 bowls of it to us.

ltr thanks to kenny who gave a complained, we pay lesser for the 5 bowls of tofu. lmao. then later we went vivo city. its a shopping center newly opened. though not all shops are opened, its full of things to shop !! its 3 storeys but the space is very big. seems like its the biggest shopping center. went to met up with kevin and elieen. which means its a 4 couple date ! haha. I MISS ELIEEN A LOT !! its kevin and elieen's 1 year together. congrats ! ;p

then we decided to catch a movie. and its john tucker must die. its my 2nd time watching that show. haha. its still as funny as the first time we watched.

saw richard and peishan there too. and they were watching the same movie as us. haha. what a coincidence.

ltr went home with 3 girls in my room. swing, lingz and mic. lmao. its mahjong night at my place. hehe. im lucky to win one round and another. hehe. ;p mic having test today. and slept for like one hour. oh gosh, hope she have energy to go school.

swing and lingz went home and will be dropping by soon i guess. woke up at 2pm. hehe. ;p its mahjong again today and Kbox tml ! ;p yeah !!

just got home (dear's place) from a movie, Talladega Nights, at the cathay with daniel, kim, shirley and kenny. its three couples again ! ;p

the show was great ! very funny. more of a show which is a life exprience i suppose. the male lead finally knew what was good for himself after he lost his first race. bla bla..

went off from my place to BBDC for dear's BTT. he passed of cause. hehe. then headed to his aunt's place for dinner with ah qiang's present, its a lego spiderman which i bought it from toy'r'us in vivo city ytd. he was so happy, just love the look to see kids like that. managed to help him fixed the spiderman ! and ah yen gave me a minnie sticker !! and i have both of their faces in my phone !! hehe. adorable kids ! ;p

then went down to the cathay. by the time we reached there its like 9.40pm and daniel bought 9.40pm tix ! omg. we rushed down. luckily the show didn't start on the dot. ;p didn't missed any part of it.

shirley left before the show ended. something should have happened. then after the show, parted with daniel and kim and took bus home.

while on the bus, i was reflecting. reflecting on those things on my past about dear. sorry dear that ive thinking about the past again. reflecting from when i felt for him. and those feelings i felt and stuff. remembering chatting with dear online almost every night. and everytime when i get online i will scroll to the section when dear's nick would appear and check if he was online which now it became a habit, though dear's nick is appeared in to top of my friend list i still will scroll down w/o fail. haha.

remember when i found out dear was single that time and im attached, somehow i felt so wasted that i'd not keep myself single. i remember helping dear find a job when on the other side im afraid that if i happened to work in the same outlet with dear, so i cant stop thinking about him and cant let him go (but eventually i cant even if i didnt met him)

i broke someone's heart once.. but i got mine hurt a lot more times. though it may not seems long but the pain really drilled deep down till i can really feel my heart hurts.

went his dad's coffee stall for breakfast then went tennis at NIE. its my first time playing it and its fun ! but i have to admit, my stamina wasn't that good to last long. maybe after some time.

after that went to queensway shopping centre for lunch, getting food to cook dinner and sis wanted to look for sports shoes.. then went to returned the car to his dad, but ended up driving it back home to his place. lol.

had baked pasta with salad and clam chowder. oh ya.. while sis and bro-in-law went to rent dvd, went to the pet shop ard there. i caught an eye on a MICKEY and MINNIE clothes for dog !!! omg. i'll get it for present.. but i need sponsors. haha. love that.

school is starting.. FINALLY ! but it ended off late... ;/ boreded. haiz..

guess i get jealous easily. even with some girl on the street who looked at dear. the sentence "when girls are quiet, million thoughts flows through their mind." i totally agree with it, it only matters that those thoughts are happy ones or unhappy ones.

dear told me that he wanted his daughter's name to be rynnae.. and he thought of it last year. which means he's not yet with me. i shouldn't have say so much about unhappy moments. somehow im always jealous.

ive been throwing my temper at dear recently. im sorry. im trying not to. its always about jealousy. though in the beginning, dear told me not be get jealous over small things. but its a natural reaction to.

thoughts are always flowing into my mind.. haiz.. how can i not be jealous when i love dear so much ?! argh.. ;(

i failed my FTT (there'll be someone laughing in front of the com.) ;/ i didn't have the time to study for the test okay. whatever reasons will made no changes, i still failed. re-taking it this coming friday.

didn't attend classes. tues will be the day that i can skip ! hehe. its all lectures ! ;p after CDC, went HG mall for food. both of us were starving. after food, walked around hg mall. gt dinner for mum, two honey chicken legs. then caught an eye on the mickey and minnie perfume ! hehe. found mum to sponsor me.. but the minnie perfume is out of stock. argh.. nvm still have my mickey perfume. hehe.

on our way home, there were 2nd hand hp shops. then dear decide to get a new phone. which is w810 (we both are carrying sony ericsson phones. ;p). then we went back to get the charger and stuff. before heading back to the store, we went surveying around and saw the white one !! so trade in his N70 and top $50 over for the phone. ltr headed back with mum's money for my perfume and got nail polish ! haha. added to my collections of colours. ;p

its a satisfying day for us ! ;p

ytd dad fetch me for my e-trial test for 3hrs. damn it. its damn cold can ?! after that dad send me to meet dear. guess what, shotted dear at the busstop near his school ! quickly told dad to stop his motor and drop me. haha.

im so happy to see dear. i misses him ! ;p then ltr took bus home for dinner. and i threw temper at dear again. ;( its all my fault. i was upset with dear cus he leave me in the living room while he's in my room.

i went to bath and thought of heading to bed. after bathing, dear hugged me, but i pushed him away. and there goes all the crying.. ;(
maybe its my period that makes me so easily agitated/emotional (guess its just an excuse). ;( ltr both of us cried.

dear, i just want to tell you, you the one for me and i dont give a damn that there's someone out there better for me. I want you to be my future husband and no one else. since the past, when im hurt, is over, just let it past, dont feel sorry cus we're now happily together, aint we ?! dont say such things like "i can find another guy better than you, but i chose you." it only makes me more sad. i dont know why you're the one who make me love you so much, and there's no answers i can find. its all about FATE i guess. we've make a turn to get to each other, guess its FATED for us eh ?!

ive a new phone ! its sony ericsson W850 ! hehe. ;p the white one ! now me and dear have white phones ! >.< totally love it.

actually its dad who bought the phone but ive noticed it when i got home, so its mine. ;p

didn't go to cdc just now. so changed plans to watch death note, but its almost fully booked, so we didn't have the chance to watch. had our dinner and head home. bought things from cold storage again. lmao. we always buy a lot of things from supermarkets and 25hrs stores. lmao. ;p

passed my final theory. should have listen to dad to take up a few driving lesson before having the test cus it would be much more easier. ;/

after that kinda quarrel with dad about going down to cdc to book my driving lessons. haiz... i really cant make it today for the booking and dad insist on wanting me going down to book with him. i've promised dear's aunt for a meal(cus of her bday) which i don't about what time of the day. and dear have to go have his e-trial test at bbdc. damn it. cant dad just understand ?! its always what he wants and not what other people wants. haiz.. somehow im tired about such stuff. recently i always quarrel on the phone with dad about this driving thing. haiz..

ytd after my test, went to get my screen protector for my phone. in the end didn't get any. they said one piece cost $8. and they took it out from a pask of 3 pieces. when you normally by a screen protector, its in a pack. and that lady took one pack out and only charge for one piece ! hey, i knew about such methods of coning people okay ?! so i didn't get any.

went to dear's aunt's place, ah yen and ah qiang is there. yeah !! such adorable kids. >.< gave ah yen stickers i bought. haha. ah yen also showed me her mickey puzzle and ah qiang showed me his power rangers. lmao. their toys simply filled the floor of their living room. ;p

after meeting ah yen and ah qiang, i start loving kids. maybe cus they would approached me unlike my nephews and nieces. ;/

ytd went tennis again ! this time it rains heavily. ;/ so we stopped our game when we just started warming up. the rain lasted for around an hour. oh gosh.. after that played in the wet court with wet balls lmao. that was when i got hold of playing tennis. haha.

after our game, went to the market near dear's place for lunch/dinner. haha. cus its around 4plus 5pm so i assume its half half. finally bought the minnie dog clothing for present. its just nice on her. hehe. ;p

oh ya. sat, went for breakfast with dear's aunt, sis and bro-in-law. hehe. had dim sum. ltr went to holland village to shop at F.O.S (factory outlet store). there're branded goods which is selling at a cheap price cus of some stetching fault or something else. haha. saw a white abercombie slippers, but there's only size six. ;( dear bought 2 shirts and i bought 2 tops with a skirt. hehe. love it !

recent updates, going to take my driving lessons on 14 nov onwards. dec 22 wil be my test. hehe ;p

on 23 oct, im having night classes. and dear went to pool at concourse. then met at CP to get food. haha. i reached there first, so went to cold storage to buy dinner. im cooking. 3 packs of udon, boiled broccoli and grilled chicken drumstick. we're both very full !

then 24 oct, its a holiday ! hari raya. woke up late and had lunch with family at CP. another full meal ! both of us having porridge with raw fish. then dad and mum ordered half chicken, then dad ordered herdal chicken soup. lmao. then ltr dad bought a claypot for uncle rosli ! hehe. im going to his house again ! have his present wrapped ! its my skill okay ! haha. missed wrapping a lot. this time dear came along with me ! uncle rosli is surprised to see him ! hehe. had a great meal ! ;p

25 oct, skipped make up classes ! =X actually going home to take nap then meeting dear outside his sch, but dear end early. kevin and jun wee came over then ltr meeting with elieen. decide to bake cookies for elieen, kevin, jun wee and dear's aunt. starting it was a failure, cus i change my flour. love my cookies. oh ya, think present ate dear's PSP analog button. lmao. she even bite my usb cable. omg. also made a heart shaped cookie for dear. with rainbow bits surrounding it and his name made of chocolate rice in the heart. hehe. ;p

tml dear will be having holiday but im not. so his friends decide to go west coast pool. im happy to hear about pool, cus i end at 1pm. which is considered early !! guess what dear told me ?! he told me to go there after sch and meet him !!! argh! im angry ! he want me to go there alone, cus his friends are going there early ! how early can they go ?! 9 in the morning ?! im both angry and disappointed. like his game is so important. spoils my mood for tml ! i shall find other activities !!! then shirley was saying me that i have hands and legs to go there and meet dear.. then shirley said cus i got hands, legs and my friends to find more activities ! (ya.. right ! she's not coming tml !) i didn't reply dear's msg, im angry can ?!

was half awake when dear hugged and kissed me in the night, floating half way in my dreamland. like me after i dearmt of something and woke up crying, dear told me that he dreamt about mum saying that my ex is better than him. think he's giving himself too much stress with me. ;/ then he cried. but the fact is that everyone, including friends see a future with me and dear ! mum and dad loves him. maybe not dad, cus he's jealous about how me and mum treat him. lol. mum treat him like a son-in-law and i treat him like a husband ! ;p he told me that he's so scared to lose me. ive promised that i wont leave him and i wont let it happened.

after comforting dear with my half awake brain, i dosed off very soon. haha. im really tired can ?! dear will be coming over to my sch for food, then we'll head down to west coast for his pool game. or maybe i'll go to his aunt's place to pass her the cookies i made for her. i want to see ah qiang and ah yen !!! ;p

happy birthday to Swing ! we're finally 18th ! lmao. consider a bad day for her i guess. ;/ she was stucked at home. felt really sad for her that her day was 'sort of' ruined. wanting to cheer her up, we went around tamp. buying presents for her. i cant be there to healp her kill her time, cus we're watching the guardian (great show!!). bought a small jewelry box for her, so just nice can fit the earrings i bought previous for her, also one of her present this yr. and also the rest of the accessories i gave her and she receviced from other people.

then also wanted to buy her a cake, since i bought michelle a cake. and she likes the cheesecake from coffee bean, so went there to get it. on our way, we saw this cute small rectangular-shaped cake with a piece of heart shaped strawberry cut out. so bought for swing too. hehe. just wanted her to be happy.

then we dropped by swing's place and gave her the presents and the cake.

im still feeling bad, cus weekends will be spent with dear's family. but cus of swing and mic bday celebration, we just went there on friday. made dear kinda upset in the beginning. ;( and eventually, we didn't went for the celebration. argh.. haiz... ;(