we cried again. (shirley got to laugh at me again) it all started when there's a long slience after dear complaining that some of his songs were gone and the songs seems so important to him. as for me, lying on the bed reading my magazine.

then after he finished his mending of playlist, he came to me asking if i were angry with him. im not. then he said why didn't i talk to him. cus he was so engrossed in his mending of songs. then he kissed and hugged me, telling me that he loves me. seems like some abstract from some drama(i admit i watched too much of shows). cus of the fear that my ex gave me. im afraid of getting hurt again. seriously, i hated him to the core, how much he played with my feelings. he wants a girlfriend for petting and stuff and im that stupid at that time to be his doll, but luckily i didn't gave him my/girls precious thing. worthless piece of shit, he's not even the worthless piece of rubbish in the bin. jerk !

back to what happened just now. at that time i was lying on the bed like a doll/slave. letting dear kiss and hug till dear warmth my heart. i felt his heart, which always touches mine. and of cus the root of making me tear. its the feeling i didn't felt before. the warmth only dear can give and everytime dear hugged me, i felt the warmth. i didn't mean that till now, at the time, that ive 'love'. im just reflecting about the time with that JERK and the precious moments, moments to tressure, with dear. dear is the one who made me learn how jerk, worthless that creature was. he was like some despo preverts in the crime list.

and dear always made me angry when it comes to him looking down on/blaming himself. he told me that my family and i are the only ones who don't look down/dispise him. it always hurts me. he's someone who have an ambition and not those ppl out there, included that JERK, who have no aim and no ambition in life. those people might as well have an accident and pass away earlier so they won't use up those resources and job space ! bastards. just wanted dear to know that there's much more ppl on earth that is a lot worst than you. i will only look down on 'those ppl'.

dear thinks that there's some things that he owe in his past life that now he have to return it to me. though only chinese/taoist/budist,etc believes in such thinking, but still there's no prove. no matter there's past lives or not and though i believes in FATE a lot, since we've found each other, lets make ourselves devoted to each other. that's a promise we, both, made.

i just cant sleep. everytime when i cry, i just can't stop till i feel tired. dear is already floating in his dreamland, jumping around. guess i shoud get in bed soon, otherwise i won't look good tml.

 

NOTE: this entry is offensive and sorry if ive hurt any of my reader's feelings. im just expressing my angry towards one person, the JERK. the word JERK is specially came up cus there's those people living on earth.

for no reason, i cant sleep. dear is soundly asleep beside me.

basically, my past 3 days is a interesting weekend ?! haha. didn't attend school on friday ans dear too. ;p slept till mum got up and bought us 'brunch'. then had our 'brunch', watch TV for awhile and dad came home. which is early for him. then its slacking time, cus there's no shows. which means its afternoon nap time ! ;p

we slept till 4pm and got ourselves prepared to meet dear's mummy and daddy at IMM for dinner. sis and bro-in-law wasn't joining, cus sis was going to the gym with his half-recovered foot. had dinner at lvl 1's HK rest. the food are not bad ! ;p nothing much after that, we went back, his place.

as for sat, we woke up in the afternoon, no i woke up in the afternoon. dear was awake like hours before me. ;p then decide to meet with dear's aunt to spend the afternoon and early evening. just nice, she's bringing min min, his niece, out. went to bugis. had lunch at the bubble tea stall in parco. they have nice fried rice ! then didnt shop much there. headed to chinatown, cus we're having a dinner at yan ge's rest, aunty jo's having a company dinner and invited dear's family along. its really crowded there, dear;s wearing a shirt, and a black shirt ! was really scared that the weather will turn dear off. ;( the dinner was really fun ! there's karoke there too ! haha. dear's daddy got drunk. dear was also drunk, but managed to recover back. lmao. he's no longer a drinker for quite sometime and at the dinner, dear drank till his head hurts. its no worries for a driver there's sis, bro-in-law and also me. but bro not going to dear's place, which means there's sis and me left. cus i havent got my P plate, i got my excuse ! ;p somemore, if i did drive, it will be my first time hitting the expressway and its in the night with cars speeding ! saw a couple of cars overtaking from the left at fast speed too. its really scarying eh.

next morning, after dear woke up, managed to bring myself up to see if dear's having a hang over. but not long after i went back to sleep. lmao. ;p i saw dear to sleep okay(that's my reason ! ;p). after i woke up. sat in the living room for awhile then volunteered to get roti prata with dear. and sis stayed home, doing her marking and stuff, its a sad case for being a teacher.

i had my delicious roti prata ! its even better than jln kayu(no joke). then also volunteered to help sis mark her student's book till kevin and jun wee came. prepared myself and went out to get a haircut. ;p also request for my hair to be blown striaght. thinking of getting treatment next week, but after my haircut, i think i'll go for soft rebonding nxt wk before CNY, most probably. ;p

head down to vivo by cab, the sonata cab, with jun wee billing it. ;p i will love taking sonata cabs ! it will lessen my chance of getting motion sick. ;p its smooth-er then crown cabs. then kevin went to make his bear for elieen's vday present. just like what dear did for me. ;p then went to carl's for food ! yum yum. bet they'll blacklist us of their salt and pepper. cus we sprikled a lot on our fries. lmao. straws too ! for me making stars for dear. then they wanted to play pool. after i got my sweets from mini toons, we went to the acrade for pool. oh ya, also bought a pair of pumps at topshop. ;p love it. ;p im controlling myself for spending.. ;(

nice ?! love that fringe >.<

dear found a buyer for his psp ytd night. selling of today at $300. elieen was the one who found the buyer. seems that the buyer is insterested to know elieen. haha. all the while he's msging us and not elieen. i dont know why dear just wanted to sell of his psp asap, which almost make him more loses.

sometimes you have to learn to read buyer's mind. when someone asked you details of the product means he/she is interested and if they ask more, you've just got your chance. and learn to control the buyer and not letting the buyer control you. what i mean for controlling is when buyer is asking for more discounts and you give, he's controlling you. you must learn to pull back. though it can be risky, but if ur price is lower than other ppl, there's no worries at all, if he dont want it then he'll lose that good price.

so ltr, i'll be to one, cus im a girl and the buyer is a HE, will get money from him and pass him the psp. ;/ what's good to use a girl's acc. to sell things ?! you'll get a buyer faster. ;p

fine. everything ive type is all gone. great ! cus of the private server im using. ;/

friday is our 6th month ! but nothing special happened. got dear's psp. the new version one.

nothing really happened on fri and sun. sat we went to bugis in the afternoon with dear's aunt, sis and bro-in-law. after dear's aunt went back, cus she's having dinner ltr on. then i bought facial products and a pen liquid eye liner. then after dinner, we went to chinatown in the night and went reached home, dear's place, around 12 plus. its fun going there. the feeling of the festive season is there and its fun ! ;p

as for sun, went to meet kevin and got psp games from him. that's all that happen in day. as for the night, we chatted about our feelings on the day we got together. then chatted on my first yr in metro and stuff till dear dosed off.

was dragged up in the morning for breakfast, dad's home. he's just clearing his leave till he end his job. bought white heels at kovan too. ;p then came back and.. did some preperation for vday. hehe. its still a secret. ;p till then will update more on vday ?! haha

most people only know that Valentine's day is a day for couples or expressing your love to the other gender. though its a day of romance, but the history of this person, Valentine, was a sad one.

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, February 14, 269 A. D., it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

this is a slightly summarised part from the History of Valentine website and date from St. Valentine's Story webste. Full story will be stored in my contents page/reads.

last night before i head to sleep, after i found St. Valentine's story, i went to this american greetings(cus one of the site linked me to it.) then i saw calendar wallpaper. there's quite a no. of nice wallpapers there ! and i saw a few grumpy bear's wallpaper and started to love it. ;p now ive a suddenly obession on CARE BEARS esp. grumpy bear ! haha. >.<  

dear going back tonight, cus his mum need him to get something for her. though im disappointed, but still have to bear with it cus someday we'll face such things.. like when he go NS and stuff.

ytd was a great day for me ! its valentine's day. my first valentine's day with a guy, how sad to say. dear gave me a pig hanging onto a heart balloon. hehe. then bought me a stuff toy rose. ;D and everyone was looking at the things dear bought for me ! >.< i dont wish dear to waste money on such stuff, but really have to thank him for the day !

tml, we'll meet up, but he still have to go back to his place. ;( have to bear with it. ;( will be sleeping with princess, the doggy dear made for me for v.day present.

omg. havent been studying my exams. gone chase. i know nuts about the whole module damn it. ;(

just heard from mum that ytd when she told my godfather that dear's going, he was very happy. but now, dear wont be going.. will be a disappointment for him.. haiz.. sorry is all i can say for his disappointment. ;(

after the lonely sleepless night, we're back together again. with sleepy eyes, i tossed and turned on my bed trying to get a good position to sleep, but my mind just kept running, thinking of things that were so irrelevant to me. just imagining things w/o having the control of it.

then the next day, which is friday, went shopping with dear and his mum. had a great time, dear's mum bought a watch and fake lashes for me. ;p as for dear, he bought 3 tops. his mum, bought a bag and lots of curtain. lmao. its when heading back to his place, the rain came heavily. luckily, dear's dad came to fetch us. with lots of missing of dear, i told dad that im staying at dear's place for the night. seriously, out of my heart, i missed the hug, the kiss, his warmth body, his shoulder (where i lied my head on) and his love.

then in the morning, went for prayers, its dear's grandparents. then i head home. my timing was just nice to see presen off. i will miss her for the next 2 days. ;( wanted to bring presen down after sis sent me home. then just nice dad's friend came to bring present off to mate. sis got to see presen for just few mins. oh ya, presen's mum is in my place. i guess her name right, its gif. haha. cus both of presen and her mum, gif have a slient 'T'. haha. one is gift, one is present. haha.

ltr after i had my reuion dinner with my parents, i packed everything up for CNY with dear's family. will be heading to my place too ! haha. dad told me that my future dad-in-law is coming to my place, i have to keep it real clean ! haha.

ltr cus i end my reuion dinner early, sis fetch me back and i had another round of reuion dinner with dear's family. lmao. was really full ! ;p im really happy to spend the NEW YEAR, VALENTINE'S DAY, CHINESE NEW YEAR 2007 with dear ! its never been that joyful before ! ;D

currently having mood swing.. and like no apparent reason. fuck damn it.

Valentine's day

my balloon with a piggy hanging onto it ! so cute ~

the flower came about when we're queuing for thaiExpress @ PS. and i saw this cute toy rose in the shop opp. thaiExpress. then dear excused himself to the toilet and bought it for me.

taken while waiting for our food. the food took ages to be served. was kinda pissed by the service too. but its a very PEAK day.

the present dear gave me on V.day. not forgetting there's the $100 over baby milo t-shirt (from BAPE workshop) and my hand-made bear by dear at build-the-bear workshop. i love 'em all !

CNY

dear's new hairstyle for CNY. nice ?! not by a professional stlylist.

me and ah qiang !

look at ah yen ! she's so cute ! so cuddly

dear. me. sis.
look at the smiles on our faces ! hehe.
on CNY day 1

in sis's car. look at my pimple.. ;( leaving to bro's house

at bro's house before the steamboat. we're so bloated then. lmao.

look at it ! its soo nice ! I want !! its a Special Edition and $10 of its purchase price to the Global Fund to fight AIDS in Africa. but who cares about the $10 ?! i just love the red colour ! >.< starting i knew about this from edison chen's blog and started to love it, not because its in his blog, but its just so special isn't it ?! oh... i love it.

the latest trendy online store ! pls do spread around. http://my-clozet.blogspot.com/ 

thanks ! i did the layout ! ;p

recently, dad is starting to get addicted to mahjong ! haha. played till late for quite few nights.

my last exam paper is tml. then i'll celebrate ! thinking of bikini, i sold my roxy one. though i make like 50% lost, but i just wanted to get rid. cus its tied round my neck from the center of the bikini. so when tanning the mark will be obvious. and of cus i had one replaced it which i bought from thailand ! ;p myClozet is popular and will be more popular! so do check it out ! >.<

and as for the ipod nano (RED), dear will be getting it for me ! >.< with engraved words,

o9.o8.o6
together forever

there's an urge to restrict dear from getting it, buthe gave me too much reasons that i have nothing to object it. yes, i really love it, but pls save some money up.

dear have been watching prison break for the whole day. he was so engrossed. while he's engross, im studying. felt really bored though.. nvm.. ive my com. with me ! ;p