im freaking angry about myself and those fucking comments i gave. i can tell that dear's unhappy. to himself or me i don't know. since the day before, he was so engross watching his prison break. then after that, we will be heading to bed. no point of me watching with him, since i missed the episodes while he was watching. i just dont like it when we head home early ever since he got his Mac book. maybe we shall stay in our homes after school or what-so-ever so these problems will no arise.

maybe im the selfish ever since day one. i guess im the cause of all problems. everytime he blames himself for making me angry, but truth is every problem happens cause of me. it always aches my heart when i see him upset.

i feared. to cared and get angry with his well-being until i felt tired and give up. you know its really hard to care for someone who cant listen.. finally i knew what this sentence means. you cared for him, tell him what's better, but it still happens the next time or worst, he dont give a damn of whats better for him.

words are just words and words dont mean anything without actions.

friday, after dear came back to my place, we slacked for quite some time then got prepare and went for 'lou-ing' yu shen with dear's family, aunt and ah qiang.

then sat, went out with dear to town after meeting up with aunt for lunch. i was wearing my baby milo tee. hehe. kinda like showing off my tee in town. haha. dear bought another tee from hdln ! then ltr, we went to wheellock. and i saw cute panties. hehe. and its on offer. lmao. ;p 

headed to marina square for the air force thing. sadly, they told me there's not sponsership for poly student. but i wonder why weiming is there. but nvm. maybe after my poly then i will sign on with air force. its still the same somehow. didn't spent much time there and headed to bugis.

bought a mickey and minnie at parco. cost $13 each can?! and its somehow too ex. for that, but dear got it without any hesitation. and also bought wordings sticker for dear's new MacBook. after the day, decide to go home (this place) for dinner, cus sis will be ringing Macdonalds. but i spend my day happily. ;D

as for today. went to daniel's place with kevin and junwee. and of cus dear is with me. after meeting up a buyer for an orange dress we went down to daniel's place by cab. then everyone of us who went for our psp upgraded to 3.10-oe which can play downloaded games. hehe. then dear and kevin got windows installed in their MAC. spend almost the whole day there. cus its raining heavily there and so we decided to stay longer. haha. had great fun actually !

it will be a busy week coming up. omg. training and working ! omg.

hm.. ltr going to decorate my sec sch chalet. then going to meet dear for dinner. for the whole week, im going to dear's place. tml im going down from dear's place to pana building for training and i dont know what time will it gonna end. then dear's going for his driving lessons. wonder how will i settle my meals. ;(

wed. not fully planned yet. have to bring dear down for interview. then dear's dad wanted to go to the movies. not yet confirmed.

thurs till sun will be WORK WORK and WORK ! im expecting great sales at suntec ! ;p everything just cocked up last min.

ive to work for money. im way over spending. dad's jobless by his bday which is next week. mum's medical fee is paid by dad. though ive dear, but i cant expect to use his pocket money, he's not working.

cus of this week of work, sec sch chalet for me should be cancelled. damn it. promised to go but bearly can make it for a night over there. im really sorry that the IT show clashed onto the chalet. im just so pissed off that everything clashed together. haiz..

ytd went product training. kinda boring. but seems that pana came up with better lumix cameras ! wonder what's their price. saw the slimer camera (FX-30) and actually hold one before the IT show starts. haha. havent been working for like ages. but still manage to remember the specs. of the cameras. ;p

thought of buying FX-07 previously... have to wait till tml for me to decide to get the FX-30 or FX-07. only FX 30 can be compared to FX07 cus they both have 28mm wide angle. but come to think about it i dont need the 28mm wide angle. maybe i will get the FX12(7.2 mega pixel) or FX10(6.0 mega pixel) and FX 10 have pink ! haha..

lumix now have intelligent ISO which can capture moving image, venus engine 3 which is the latest tech. that reduce the noise in the photo esp. in the night.

the good points of having panasonic cameras..
-the only brand that have mega OPTICAL image stabalizer (others use digital type).
-having aperture of F2.8 (the best quality lense which can close up till F2.8, others around F3).
-using LEICA DC lens (one of the best lens).
-have external zooming (which reflects the light better, in other words to have a better quality of picture).
-using lithim ion battery which last longer.
-few models have 28mm wide angle lens (as shown in comercials). 
-fast shutter speed. 

if you really read through all the specs. of other brands, you'll know how good is panasonic. there's no perfect camera, but panasonic camera is the only camera with more pros than cons. and even i got attracted to it. ;p

FX10 pink

FX07 Gold (28mm wide angle)

finally the IT show have ended. my first day was really discouraging. ;( not even 10 sets. but second day, there's improvements for sure. ;p in total i sold 86 cameras.

for the 2nd day, after a day of talking, im tired, so i did some stretching, i made a stretching sound. and this promoter there start teasing me, saying i uses 'yao-guai' language. and from then on, he kept teasing me which spreads till other ppl starts teasing me that way. ;(

ytd, sis bought 2 cameras from me. in the beginning, i wanted to get one, but dad cant afford to get me cus he's still looking for a job after his retirement in SCDF. and by surprise, dear got this camera with the company of sis and bro-in-law. he surprised me when i met him after the IT show. he told me its my 7th month gift together with the jelly beans from candy empire. ;p was so touched and happy.. but dear wasted his money on this. ;(

just now, there's this guy who worked in courts asked for my number. my first reaction was like 'huh ?! my number?" and i didn't give. i told him ive a bf. so the disappointed look, the 'ma-lu' face in front of his friends. so, i felt bad and gave him my number just to be friends. then i regret it more. after the whole IT show, met up with dear... i felt so bad that it seems that im so flirt when im with dear. cus of sympathy for that guy, who seems to be a year younger than me though he's in poly. told dear, and of cus he's jealous. ;( i wont do such a thing anymore, no more sympathy ! but anyway, that guy decided to withdraw from being the third part, after i told him i stay with my bf and cus both of our parents agree to our r/s. but anyway, he gained a friend. me too.

oh ya... saw weikiat working at IT show. and its for Acer when his laptop is giving so many problems. haha.

dear cried last night. guess cus of his past heartbreaks and he feared that i may leave. what's a promise by me to him is a promise that will never be broken. i gave away my number to this guy is my fault. i blame myself for his insecure of me. maybe such things happened in his past. i dont want to know and dont want to recall. i hate my past, i hate his past.

before we got home after i told him about giving a guy my number. he told me that he stayed away from his girl-friends cus of he know i will get jealous. and i gave my number for a GUY (being unfair). i felt like im over-controlling him. haiz.. from now on, i wont care about any other girls around him, giving the life before our r/s.

dear is always hidding his feelings from me, blaming himself of everything and i hate that. why cant he say/scold me? haiz.. i dont this to be our problem.

slept for the whole afternoon with presen laying beside me while i was sleeping. dear went to school late, around 11 when he's suppose to go at 7am.

i took medicine and went to bed. gift was running here and there. jumping on and off bed. but doesn't really woke me up. til dear called me. like around 7 ?! =X i really slept for very long. hehe.

had a nightmare ytd night. dreamt that there's a lot of customer asking me about the cameras. its like that time working in metro, dreaming that the queue of gift wrapping is very long and the customers are very impatient. omg.. its a sleepless night. ;(

for the IT show, ive a slight sore throat and flu. omg... its killing me...

ytd was at dear's place. before that dear, sis, bro-in-law, aunt, his dad, his mum, when AMK to look for sis wedding gown, but later found out that the shop closes on every tues. lmao.

headed to PS for a movie.. watch primeval.. animation wasn't that real. and CROCODILES DONT ROAR ! most scenes are FAKE ! rather funny show.. crocodile cant jump out of the water ! waha..

was thinking of going back home, as in my place, didn't have to mood at first. dont know why, dear kept shooting me with words. maybe im too sensitive. whatever..

as for today, met with dear for his job interview. and he got in. under the same company ! ;p so we're earning their money ! waha. ;p dear's going for product training tml. then to aunt's house ltr.

dad's bday this sat. which will clash with dear's job, cus he'll most prob starting work this weekend. and my planned beach trip is cancelled ! ;( haiz.. see if he can get to change till going to work after this week.

was viewing my reads. and i was reading about being a good bf entries. ;p

its really sweet, but guys either fits half of it or less than half of all a perfect guy should do to make a girl's heart melt everytime. haha.

and this also made me realise how sweet dear is.. haha.. which really makes my heart flutters and melts. ;p

by right, dear should be going to the product training, but cancelled last minute, and aunt wont be cooking cus her sink broke (dont ask how, i wonder how too.)

then i met dear, and he joyfully said that we're watching stomp the yard. i was happy to hear that... but cus of my irritating attitude, jokingly said that i dont wanna watch.. in the end we really didn't watch... from a excited me to a slient me.. though later dear told me that if we watch today he wont have much money left for the week. may it be real or not, i think that im that annoying that dear cancelled the movie..

after we draw money (the person at the ticketing booth said that dont accept nets nor master), then were playing around in the lift happily.. then its when i teased him and say i dont want to watch and everything got cancelled. ;( kinda sad and disappointed. ;( ;( ;(

ltr dear went to had his prata and i didn't eat. was really miserable. i did not say a thing then... just felt so sad.

after that, we went to get a drink and sat at outside burger king thinking of where to go and also spending time since its early. i was thiniking about all those that happened. felt so down. and almost cried.. im sorry dear of the silly, playful me. ;(

when im sad, i cant deny me spending money uneccessarily. bought 3 magazines at one goal, bought things for dear's nieces and stuff. draw $50 and ended up with $12.. those $38 equals to junk that ive bought.

maybe most girls are like that.. but this time i didn't really spend much, cus i know the money in my bank is limited. haiz. ;(

last night, dad asked if we wanted to go beach ! just nice i was saying about going to the beach on sun. hehe.

brought presen over to the beach. dad brought her to the water till she's shivering. why does presen scared of the water ?!

its considered my first family outing at the beach.. maybe when im small we already had an outing like that. we're there for not long i guess. ;p then we headed to bath. was queuing for shower while other girls were bathing at the shower outside the cubicle. got kinda impaient later and when there to bath. ended up i got change and still the queue wasn't moving. ;p

then headed to take the bus to the departure hall and this bunch of korean tourist were there. sorry that ive threw the faces of SGeans. but if i dont cut their que, i have to wait like aorund 5 buses till my turn. omg. then i suppose their tour guide came and tell us that the queue is behind, then i tell her, but im here already. ;p think she gave a rude comment on us(like i care.). everyone there were typical kiasu people can ?! they have the potential to be a SGean ! ;D

oh ya, before i reach harbourfont MRT, we met this family from whatever country (seems like vietnamese or indonesians) , this grandmother of theirs came squeezing beside dear when this SGean aunty ran and got her seat beside dear whom also pushed away one of their kids. there goes the show.. somehow i felt that grandma really make a fool out of herself. then this aunty's son (nerdy look, plump, no style), said out loud in mandrian about rude comments about them. its kinda childish, if he's unhappy with them why cant he confront them ?! there's no wrong to say things out in person infront of them that what they did is not appropriate.. and me and dear were there watching the show/drama to last. lol. this what's wrong about most SGeans, they only say and not do. if you want to fight, just do it ! words only = you dont dare ! its what i learn from dear and kevin ! you guys teach me so ! ;p

after we parted from harbourfront, after our dinner, dad, mum and presen went home. me and dear went to rent videos. got my membership from videoEzy. hehe. its movie marathon i guess. ;p hehe

oh ya, did i say which camera dear bought for me ?! its the new model of panasonic camera, FX30. hehe.. uploading pics to my lappy. >.< so that i can change my friendster's photo ! ;p its been long i can say. hehe. ;p

was at home the whole day which DVDs. rented 6 DVDs since ytd and finished watching it all. ;p dear and my current addiction. >.<

gif is going back.. presen will gonna miss time fighting ball with her ! ;p it will be back to the lonely time when no one is at home.

tml, dear will end sch at 6pm. omg. what should i do ?! ;/ shd be spending time designing dear's new layout.

kinda boring... complete dear's new layout ytd night and i have nothing to do now. waiting till 5 to get ready and meet dear at simei. wanted to go pet safari. ;p

currently watching cell dogs on animal planet and i turned to presen and pointed at the dogs calling out, "friend, friend" then presen just starred at me. ;( she's much more tried from before, guess cus she's expecting.. but its like already a month but her stomach isn't growing.. have to do some research on dogs pregnancy and also finding things to occupy me.

dear was fell asleep after lying on the bed for like 5mins ?! how i hope i can be like him. i can take 1hr just to lie on the bed waiting for dreamland to open its door. ;/

met dear and kevin after their sch with elieen cus they wanted to join us to the pet safari. ive been playing a day of game at gamehouse.com.. and i can say im kinda addicted back to it. ;p got some research that dogs take 9WEEKS to birth ! omg. why can human have 9WEEKS of pregnancy ?! haiz.. anyway, presen, my choosy lil dog, finally ate when mum open can food for her. mum specially cooked for presen her fave pork and she refuses to eat. okay, back to pet safari. there's cavalier and beagle ! omg. they're just so cute. but i still love my presen most. ;p

after pet safari went to KFC for food ! i was really empty then. hehe. ;p nothing much happen later. dear wanted to buy his addidas watch(the old model) but there's no black left. there's no black left for the new one either. went to royal sporting house for a pair of scandals which i saw like few weeks ago and the model i caught my eye on is gone.. omg.. i was comparing on 2 model but only left one. omg. nvm.. just wasn't our day. ;/

just found out that results are coming out tml.

im down with flu, coughing and headache. omg. have been lying on my bed for like half a day. dear going back his place. its time for us to spend time with our parents.. time for a change also.. there'll be free time for dear.

kinda bored. was blog hopping... kinda had emough of playing online games and psp games. i dont want to watch TV. its me and my com. for tonight. dear's watching his prison break. no one is chatting with me.. im simply bored.

saw dear's blog entry. guess that song really reminds about his heartaches. dear made a heart out of $50 note and left it in my lappy. its still there. for now, i dont know what to do with it and wont wanna spend the money.

oh ya.. its kinda long since i bought something.. not considering my online shopping. as in you pay and collect on the spot. kinda no life now. ;/ guess school is starting soon, fun time will come, skipping sch, go out wondering around with shirley and huimin. im just simply boring at home. im not blaming dear for not spending time out with me. just that i think its time to pamper myself. everytime after IT show or a really stress or tiring state, i will pamper myself. though ive spend alot on online shopping.. i dont have much money left in my bank.. oh god.. haiz.. there's pleasure in spending own money knowing you have the money.

shall wait for my clothes to come from my online shopping ! >.<

12am on 21/3, most of my classmates were sitting by their computer or laptop desprate to know our results and im one of them.. thankfully, ive successfully moved on to year 2 w/o repeating any module. thank god. no more Cmath ! -phew-

oh ya, dear will be promoting fridge, oven and washer. which i think sales will be quite bad. omg.

today after dear's test went dear went to his training while me became a naughty girl. ;p i spend money on dear when i dont have much money in my bank. >.< made my name(nickname) in a keychain for him. thought for quite some time to decide on making it for him and thought quite some time to decide what to make for him.. really troubled that sale girl. ;p then i bought A BATHING APE 2007 SRPING/SUMMER COLLECTION magazine. why ? cus there's BAPE stickers ! >.< dear was looking for it for quite some time and on the other hand i also want the sticker. ;p now ive a pink camo with baby milo sitting on the bape. hehe. love it ! ;p its a great day today ! >.<

APE SHALL NEVER KILL APE

this week end was spending my time waiting for dear for dinner and for him to finish work.

ytd, dear's aunt came to accompany me also visiting dear. ;p well, COURTS is a pathetic store that still existed. haiz.. cus of re-sale those stuff they collect back from those ppl who cant pay for what they've bought. may it be only a period of time, but you readers know, mouth to mouth spreads really fast. so now, i don't think COURTS is doing well in their sales.

today was my cousin's wedding. its a buffet lunch ! special and a good idea. ;p its at hotel rendevous. me and dear left eariler, cus dear's going to work. so i, a good gf ;p, accompany him over. then he went to punch in then spend some time with me walking around and went to work. went to the arcade where all those machines which waste ppl's money on picking up stuff toys. haha. spent $7 for the fun for it. hehe. ;p

ltr, i sat in coffeebean with my psp waiting for him. not long after, dad and mum came to accompany me for awhile. dear had his break earlier today. went to mellnia walk for candy empire. then to burger king. dear ate a burger while i was playing my sims 2 pets there. till dear left for work, and till dear end his work. kinda boring though, sometimes it also makes me frustrated, but it can really kill the time fast ! haha. ;p  

ytd went to cathay and caught 2 movies ! one after another. ;p finally caught stomp the yard ! ;p then teenage mutant ninja turtle.

kinda think about it, the movie ninja turtle is kinda pointless. from no where, the show linked it to another enermy. kinda the producer just came up a story for ninja turtles. but the movie wasn't that bad. its interesting.

there's this show coming up called distrubia, its a teenage guy who is under curfew for 90 days and have this band on his leg, if he steps away from the zone he shd be in after 10 sec, police will hunt him down. so he get this hobby of spying on his neighbours. watching his neighbours making out and stuff. then 2 friends joined him, a lady and a guy. then one day, they noticed that this neighbour is murdering people. but he dont have evidence. he did tried to go over to check out what had happened, but he got caught by police for exceed his zone. which caught the attention on this neighbour. cus he cant get over to check things out, his friend went and was caught by that neighbour. then all of the things start to review. seems interesting to me ! will catch it when it starts. ;p

im kinda restless today. was sitting at coffeebean waiting for dear's break time when dad called. went over to marina to meet dad for dinner, but im kinda full after drinking the drink from coffeebean. then after dad finished his food, dear called and met us over at marina for dinner. then we were walking around when dad saw this caterpilla shoe which is on offer and its nice. but there's no size for him. then ltr, went to suntec to look for it and also there's no stock for it. then while im waiting for dear to end work, dad accompany me. seems like we're spending time there searching for that shoe. but at last he didn't got it. maybe he'll go down peninsular for it.

caught an eye on the colourful addidas shoe previously. its really cute though, but kinda think of it, i seldom wear covered shoe. dear kept insisting on buying it for me. which means after he spend it, he wont have money left for the rest of the week. all i just wished for is for him to save up some money and not ever complain that he don't have the money to buy things he wanted. i know he just wanted to make me happy, but spending all his allowance when he just got it ytd will not make me happy. may it be spending on me or whoever. its true from what dad told me when we're at a cart browsing stainless steel rings, there's a couple walking pass and the lady caught an eye on a ring, then this guy told her, wait till he get his pay then they'll get back. dad told me, if you didn't save money, then when you need it, you'll have to wait till you've got the money for it. its like in a state of poverty.