sch's food junction closed down.. no more oyster omelette. ;( monday of sch was great, spend sometime with friends in the lec hall talking crap, cus its e-lecture. chatted from topic to topic. hehe. then after sch went down tamp. to wait for dear to end sch.

supposed to go out today. its labour day ! but kinda ended up at home... Zzz... getting more bored. yawns...

im back for another entry. ;p

so today was kinda ruined by girl's monthy stuff. ytd, ended up dropping by at BAPE workshop reserving 2 tees ! >.< its a couple wear !! ;p then went to meet dear's family for dinner. went back to dear's place ltr. then this morning, was late for sch.. so i took my time to take MRT over to sch. then did my group work alone, huimin and shirley wasn't in sch !! ;(

ltr huimin appeared. then daniel came ! wasn't a long day in sch.  went to jurong east to meet dear. he's going for a haircut. then with my cramps, went to dear's place for his friend to finally get his risk board game. lol. then we went back to my place. was really shag for the whole journey. all i was thinking about is how long can i bear the cramp and was kinda prepared for the worst.

when i finally got back. everything seems to be better. maybe presen ans my little pressies bless me. ;p haha. my lil preseies are so cute !!! omg. arh !! im going crazy ! finally presen's appetite is back. thought of bring her to the vet, but now she seems to be back to normal. hehe.

dear's bday on sat ! suppose to bake a cake together then we'll go get out BAPE tee. but now friday, we're having dinner with his parents, which means we'll be going back to dear's place. so have to change some plans. will update on it soon. ;p

how glad that i have the life i wanted. after a day of work, happiness, sadness, i will be lying in the arms of warmth of dear. finally i felt the happiness eh.. ;D

ytd got a call from a colleague called. he told me that his IT show commission is only 1% only and not with the extra $5 per piece. meaning that i will only take back around $500. damn it. if its like that no one would wanna work for them. the basic is low, the commission is low. wtf. argh ! whatever the end result is will clarify all my doubts.

shirley wasn't sch ytd, and i only attending lab and tut lessons. skipped lec cus its raining. ;p night class was not bad this week. then ltr huimin and me rushed to meet our bfs at YCK mrt. lol. like as if we're 2 crazy girl rushing and laughing away upon our way to the MRT. lmao. for my stringray with rice ! hehe. finally. nth much though. ;p

okay.. here comes my long entry on dear's bday. ;p

in the morning, went to dear's dad's coffee stall for breakfast. then headed to town. went straight to far east for our BAPE couple tee. then decide to go hereen to take neoprints. hehe. ;p then i got a phone called from home. and i totally forget about going to tian tian steamboat for dear's bday with my family. omg. then mum and dad blame me for everything. it spoils my mood immediately. then dear scolded me for being uhappy. another hit of the day. cus i blame myself for forgetting it. why is it mum always spoils my happy days, my happy mood. damn it.

tried to change a topic for having slience between me and dear. went to hereen, and got our neoprints taken. guess what ?! its our first time taking it together. maybe someone reading this will say how sad rite ?! so what.. we took hundreds of photos since almost 9mths ago. ;p not to emphasis on how long we've been tgt. ;p

then ltr in hereen still. we went into limited ed. vault. since like months ago, dear said that he wanted to get a pair of nike shoe. did saw some nice shoes. but decided to go back to far east cus there's more variety there. on our way there, went to taka for our BAPE magazine. bought it mainly for the sticker. ;p reached far east, went to the 'new' sneaker shop. but somehow the designs are just okay looking. then went around the shops. ended up in one of the left foot shops and finally gt his pair of shoes. ;p its nice and unqiue.

then we went to wisma and sat outside. i would say that we're lucky enough. cus there's a bird up the tree passing its shit down. didn't hit us. ;p but dear gt some stains. haha. on his bday ! wow ! ;p

then dear's sis, bro, and aunt came to meet us for dinner, ended up back to far east at HAN's. lol. its our 3rd time at far east.

ltr went down to boat quay. kevin and dear's two other friends wanted to celebrate dear's bday. hehe. just a normal drinking session. i was just drinking there while dear and friends play cards.

ltr we went of first. headed to esplanade. but there's people there still when its like 3plus am !! cus we decided to wait till the midnight charge is over. went to funan ltr. on our way, i wonder how me and dear came about. then reached funan. sat at the spot where we became together. haha. then we enjoy the kiss we kissed on that day. ;p didn't waited til the midnight charge is over and we went back to my place. ;p

look at the huge bear bear ! i love it alot and its cheap.

dear with his cute face! hehe

our top on dear's bday. waha.

dear's new shoe ! nice ~

the stuff we bought that day. we spent around $500 that day.

went we reached clark quay, we saw flying remote control planes !

look at our tired face ?! im really tired after the long day of walking.

while waiting for dear's friends

the cake his friends bought him.

happy bday !

the stupid happy bday song that was requested

look how happy dear is !

our couple tee !

the bag from BAPE magazine ver1.1. looks cute on presen. ;p

our first neoprint. dear said we can still take it on wed. our 9th mth tgt. !

mood of the day.. mad in both ways.

on my way to sch i found out i have a quiz. omg. read up abit. think im able to pass. ;p ltr, shirley went to take mc. left me and huimin, then huimin's bf's bday, she's leavng at 1. left me and daniel. joined li shan and friends. their really funny people. i cant stop laughing after that. lol.

kinda angry with dear, but didn't said it out. like as if he dont want me to accompany him for the day. what's planned is that i go over his school to meet him after his lesson ends. then ltr of the day, dear said he wanted to go back his place to take his lappy. which means he's going back to his place for the night. and also, we're not meeting. which means no one to meet me for dinner.

so after sch went with lishan and friends. ate sandwiches. for the day i ate a pancake, 4 sushi and a sandwich.. kinda like im on diet. let me save some money for the day. and cus of sudden change of plans. guess i shouldn't look forward for everyday, so there's no disappointment everytime.. tear in a disappointed heart.

dear the reason being why i told you i want to sleep is that i dont wanna cry. even if i do, i dont want you to know. i just hated disappointmetns. i rather not look forward and have expexctations. im sorry.

just another entry for today about love.

love cant be forced, i have an exp. i tried to fell for someone who love me. but no matter how there's just no chemistry between us. i learnt it this way, some people out there may learn the harder way.

there's some saying in chinese in my reads saying..

愛，不是犧牲，也不是佔有。愛，其實是成全。擁有愛情的時候，要讓對方自由；失去愛情的時候，更要讓愛自由。

it says, love is not about sacrifies. love is not about giving in. in the process of love, is letting ur lover free. losing love, is letting ur love free.

錯過的愛，通常也是愛的過錯。
有些人，因為太愛對方而失去自己。
有些人，則因為太愛自己而失去對方。
幸福，其實是懂得割捨之後的滿足。

it says, when you miss the process of love, normally its the fault in love. some people lost themselves for love. some people lost their lover. actually happiness is understanding the period after that. happiness is actually the satisfaction of knowing how to give up.

there's no point holding on when the other person dont love you. set it free and see that person happy. love is never about jealousy, being jealous about the other person found someone to spend his/her time with for the rest of their life. what for ?! maybe its time to grow up in life.

im currently in school. im wearing my APEE tee ! waha... and dear ask if there's wind when i walk around. haha. reason why im wearing today and not on monday cus its our 9th mouth together ! we're catching Spiderman 3 ltr. >.<

suppose to meet dear in town, but i totally forget about dad's free movie ticket. so.. i have to get back home to get the ticket. Zzz...

ytd, presen freak me out. she had milk fever. meaning she have 5 pups absorbing her calcium. brought her to JK's pet clinic, but vet had gone home. luckily, i saw a 24hr pet clinic at serangoon gardens. there's 2 dogs before mine, and the owner before us, let presen to see the vet before hers. presen was in a critical stage. she was shivering. her muscles seems so weak. she cna even walk, she fell off the chair when i left her here with mum and she followed me, w/o knowing that she will fall. she fall and screamed. it break my heart to see her in that state. ;'( then ltr, the vet inject calcium to her then within no time, she's okay already. what a relieve. -phew- if not presen may die. omg.

after everything, got home had a hot bath and went to bed. kinda petty then. cus dear threw away my straws which will be made into stars for dear. then i ask why he threw it away. everytime he cleared my room, like me, he will get frastrated, then anything in his way will be in the bin. then kinda had a cold war. then i tried to give into him, i help him cut his nails. but still he didn't cared about me. what to do ?! went to bed ltr, wondering if this still carry on, what will happen today ?! i really dont know what to do. i just closed my eye with my bearable back-ache, trying to sleep.

light off, and dear lied beside me with slience. after some time, he came over to hug me. haiz.. he's blaming himself for such a minor thing. Zzz.. was kinda kidding with him acting as if i cared about the straws in the bin. haizz.. misunderstanding resolved.

as for the 7th may entry on my day, that night i did cried. then ltr i comfort myself by telling myself what's the big deal, its okay. blah blah.. then ltr i cant sleep. -.-

saw your recently of blaming yourself for your sudden change of plans. i know im locking you up and i'll say okay to have ur freedom to go home. then from now, today onwards, you go back ur house and i go back mine. okay ?!

then we'll both have solid time with our parents. i felt bad that you refuse to go home when i tell you to since you rarely go home. cus sometimes i needed you i want you to be with me. and that's the past when im selfish. im learning to let go and i know i can. so just go back ur place after school everyday. our hearts are still together and we'll not be apart, right ?!

love you, laogong!

im so disappointed in you... and im sorry i failed to be independent. i needed you. but cus you'll feel bad leaving junwee to go home alone, u accompany him.

during test, i cried. i got so caught up with this fucking matter. its my fault for all these things. the entry shouldn't be there. shouldn't you be there when i needed you ?! i know its my fault for msg-ing HIM. dont make HIM an issue can?! to me, HE'll forever be a friend in my heart. me too, felt bad for msg-ing him, knowing that you will get jealous. he just needed someone to talk to and happens to see me online. so we started chatting. reason why i msg him, cus im angry with you. i dont want to blame you, so dont make me. you knew that im not a person who ignore people, when they needed someone to talke to.

there's a msg that HE wrote to me when i told him you wont be spending the night with me ?! he told me to miss you, so our love will get stronger. HE's not our relationship destoryer.

remember the DVD we rented, a walk to remember. LOVE IS NEVER ABOUT JEALOUSY. i wanted to tell you about me msg-ing HIM, but i cant get the courage to do so, cus even if you act as if you're not angry, i know you are. i even ask huimin and shirley how to tell you, but ended up you found it out yourself.

i knew im in serious trouble giving HIM my number. HE too, blame himself for being the third party.. and remember ! HE'S JUST A FRIEND !

thanks for boonshan giving me tissue and huimin cheering me up.

just finish bathing.. its the worst of the worst day i ever had. i had a needle poking feeling in my head. im dizzy, still having stomach discomfort, think i had a fever. and my back ache is still there adding up to everything worst. then im moody for quarreling with dear.

i feel like hitting me like a punch bag. argh... today suck !

i teared in sch. i teared while walking out of school, i teared on the bus home. i teared on my way home.. i cant believe that im so weak now. everyone in my class knew i cried. what a failure am i. how great.

hope tml will be a better day !

things between me and dear is back to normal. that night, we're talking on the phone. nothing much to talk.. and i told dear that i wanted him beside me. but kinda had some draggings. then i told myself that i shouldn't look forward for dear coming over, cus i dont want any disappointments. so we hang up our phones when dear went to bath. he called me back after he got his bath. then on the phone, he was asking if im tired. kinda hinting me that he will come over, but yet, no looking forward, no disappointments.

but in the end he turned up. nothing to say about. we're back to normal already.

working for the weekend again. same job though.

its been a few days since i blog. fri, went to watch Bridge to Terabithia at cine. kinda disappointed in the whole imagination thing. not really a fantasy movie. Zzz..

its working on weekends, end work at 8.30pm, cus funan closes at 8.30pm ! cool ! ;p

then ytd, heard about zijie got into smoking cus of me. told dear about that. felt bad. but dear told me its just reason to get into smoking. shall not give any stand about this. but just hope that he quit smoking.

after lesson ends, went home to wait for dear end school. but ended up me going over to the busstop over TPE and waited for dear. brought present for a walk too. while waiting, she wanted me to carry her ! and so its carrying her for an hour till dear appeared in the bus stop. im so tired.

anyway, dear found job in selling mobile phone. but i found him a canon camera promoter job. nvm. i gave it to wade. since he told me that he need a weekend job. no harm trying eh. ;p now he owes me another cup of bandung ! lmao.

ytd, dear supposed to go back to his place, but ltr he decide to come over. then cus mum suppose to cook, but she didn't bought enough to inculde dear, so went to CP for dinner after school.

food junction is filled with ppl, so decide to go pizza hut. dad join us ltr. but ended up cancelling his order cus tis very long. while dad went to kfc for his dinner and mum accompany him, dear and me went walking around CP. caught an eye on this striped bag in charles and keith and dear bought it for me. wonder if he have money to eat for the coming days in the week. then bought ice cream ! its long since ive ate venezia ice cream. hehe. >.<

saw this butterfly pendant in bits & pieces, its nice, love it. but i dont want dear to get it for me. cus ltr he wont have money to eat. that will leave it till some occassion. ;p

took MC for today. had stomach-ache and diahearre. slept at home for the whole day. dear didn't go home again.

nothing much to blog for today. started on sis wedding slide show, photo editing ! ;p

nothing much to blog about ytd. its just a normal day of work. but today's work was fun ! was abit crazy. lol. cus i heard that there's promoter wanted to get my number but didn't dare to ask. then a staff and a promoter started talking about it with me and called him over trying to disturb him. then the whole thing made me laugh till i go crazy. seems like its very embarrass for that guy. then he tried talking to me, but it seems more like a survey than a conversation. lol. the promoter at the counter laughed at him somemore. lmao.

for the rest of the day, the staff in the counter im in, kept disturbing him. lmao. he seems so shy yet so obvious to come over. lmao.

and there's another promoter from the phones department approaching me seems to want to make friends with me. he came up to me and asked, "have you eaten?" and i said i havent eaten, cus i normally have my dinner at 6plus 7pm. then he ask again, "you want to eat ? im hungry." lol. like we're already friends. then i rejected. he stood there for like few sec, pleasing me to have dinner with me somemore. lol. its a really funny scene. ;p

ytd after school went down to orchard mrt station to wait for dear. then saw elieen there ! haha. then we were wearing black jeans. its another coincidence. haha. then went kevin and dear came, we parted. we went to collect my w850. then headed back to amk to sell it. i had enough of having the navigation button cracked. sold it at $320 at dear's work place. haha. had dinner with dad and came back home.

hm... didnt went school today. cus this morning dear told me he wont be going school cus he dont have his pants to wear. at first i still wanted to go, but the only way is that dear go over my school to meet me. but, somehow i dont think he want it that way, so me too, didn't turn up in school.

ltr, we slacked at home. waited for our brunch to come. then, ltr felt kinda tired, but we cant sleep cus dear have to go down amk to see whether his bro wanted to trade his phone to dear. but ltr ending, dear sold of his phone, sign a new plan and paid for a nokia 6300 for $4. now, both of us can call each other for free. its under m1 ! hehe

then headed to aunt's house for dinner. seriously i find the train terminating at yishun is really inconvenient. zzz...  its long since i saw aunt. and ah yen and ah qiang.

test for tml, but haven gather all the notes to study. Zzz... 

currently in school. my commission is finally transferred to me and just nice my papillio is in SG ! >.<

having test ltr. think i have confident to pass. ;p dear going over to his place to wait for me. tml he'll be having a pool session with his friends. and as for me, i'll go down to meet him after my lesson ends and go over to his aunt's place for dinner. ;p

wont be working for the weekend, sat going to see sis's wedding gown. then movies for the evening. then sun meeting aunt to see dear.

that's my shedule ! >.< haha.

im back to blog... i didn't work for the weekend. sat went to see sis's wedding growns. then sun, met up with aunt and spent the day at AMK. cus aunt wants to visit dear.

hm... recently dear and i spend very lil time together, just the two of us... whatever !!

my temper is kinda boiling hot now. nbcb. bitch! sorry readers, just let me vent my anger here. i can forget anyone i hate but you. whoever i dislike in sec sch is over. before dear is together with me, he told me not to hate people, but sorry for her i cant. she is the cause of all my heartbreaks, fuck you ! cb - cry baby. damn du lan. if i see her on the streets i'll make sure i stare straight to her fear. nbcb. and i dont mind having a police record for hitting her. dont steal other girls' crushes, whore ! nbcb.

im unsatisfied with my job... they came up with lots of schemes. that time i stop cus of the target, now i wanted to stop for the new commission scheme. its by per piece. i rather work under cosmetics. they have high pay than my current job, they have higher commission. and through that, i can learn more about cosmetics.

okay... ive decided. gonna tell them ltr. ;p

ytd, dear surprised me when he turn up at my place. cus he told me that he's going back his place ytd night. he came with a box of venezia ice cream when earlier on i told him i wanted to eat alot of ice cream, cus of that bitch, im unhappy. and surprisingly he dont know which bitch im talking about. so whatever. was touched by dear turning up with the box of ice cream. love you laogong !