after the national education trip to Army mesum, took a long ride to changi airport to meet dear. my butt was burning! lmao.

planning on a trip to hongkong. don't know when, just wanted a motivation to save up money to enjoy. ;p i want to buy branded stuff from overseas.

after hongkong, i want go taiwan. if we've saved more than expected, i want to go paris! hehe. ;p

im not gonna waste my youth in singapore alone. >.<

going out with Swing later to town. shopping day! wahaha.

went out with Swing to town. Stage is opened in SG. bought a Swarovski top for dear, picture was posted up in dear's blog. saw the ladies power ranger jacket, like the red one, but M is out of stock. ;/ have to wait for new jacket designs. ;/

nothing much though. shopping in town. what else more the say ?! unless its secrets. haha. and secrets are not meant to share. wahaha ! >.<

didn't work today. fell ill. having sore throat and flu. felt so weak. zzz.

dear also didn't work today. he's having sore throat for like 2 weeks?! now he got worst with coughing and running nose. ;/

guess i got my sore throat from dear. ;/

gonna take MC later.

just finish lunch. seen the doctor. bill cost a bomb ! we both got strong medicine. dear had anti-biotics, which he hated it, and weird tasting medicine. too bad, that's the price to pay for not taking care of himself. ;p

as for me, same, but my medicine taste better than his. lmao. dear kept complaining about his medicine. haha.

its my third entry of the day. think its my medicine that im feeling dizzy after my rest. nap for like 3 or 4 hrs. JC called me out for captain's ball, wanted to go, but cant. its very very long since i played.

im feeling the taste of flam in my thick throat. yuck !

should be the weather that i got sick, haven't been drinking much water. i even dehydrate myself in one of the days. =x

im glad that i finally got sick, i need sometime to rest myself also. i knew something was wrong with my body, but yet i can't get myself to get enough sleep even though i tried to eat right and don't stress out myself, luckily its the beginning of the school year.

shuxian you have to get well by tomorrow! monday is dear's birthday, had been planning and looking forward for that. and tuesday, gonna take another MC for school for my operation of my lump(finally it will be gone and no one will ask, "what happen to your ear?").

its a humid day again. took a nap in the noon after my medicine, but can't bring myself into dreamland. ;/

dear went to work today still unwell. wonder if he happen to faint or something bad happens to him, who is responsible ?! in-charge ?! staff working there ?! or himself ?! haiz.. pressure all around. im not finding fault with anyone.

yesterday, after dear msg our in-charge saying that we both are unwell and can't go to work. then our in-charge replied saying that its ridiculous to get ill together. i know we screwed up her depolyment by getting ill, but i don't understand why can't we get ill together ?! there's a higher chance for couples to get ill together (by spreading from kisses especally) when one was already ill. its just my point of view and stating facts. and also im not blaming our in-charge. dear went to work today trying to solve our in-charge depolyment problem. dear is always stressing up his body. haiz..

i've no more sore throat and no more coughing already, but flu in the morning and headache is still enojoying themselves. argh!! this morning i wanted to work (for some money), but my head aches like nobody's business. my head is better now though. maybe cause i tried to solve the rubik's cube (with some algorithms from the net) dear bought me a couple days ago. next time i know how to attack back my pain in the head. haha. somehow, im mastering the rubik's cube. im a puzzle addict too!! haha.

my pimples are popping out day after day, maybe its my mask that don't suit me, but now it seems more like its cause by stress, mentally stress.

dear, you have to take care of yourself, okay! i can't be always around forever, but i will do my part as long as i can, so be ready for that !

im back lively again! but woke up still feeling slight dizzy. im okay now. ;p

its dear's 20th birthday! dear almost made me cancelled "the plan". phew. i won't review any of "the plan" after today. did some changes for "the plan", will be ending earlier but with more fun! haha.

dear should be wearing the Stage t-shirt i bought for him few days ago. haha. bling bling eh. ;p

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, DARLING !

haha. ;p

yesterday school end early. went to collect dear's birthday cake from bakerzin(taka). then since its still very early, i decide to walk down from taka to glass house. i reached there with my top wet. its so humid. zzz. then sat there for like an hr till dear's friends came. kinda anxious then. call kevin to lead dear over. and at the same time tell dear that i reached already.

as dear stepped in, he was looking for a table with one person waiting. then next he saw US waving at him. haha. then normal ordering and eating. after everyone finish eating, here comes the cake, but kevin and ziyang went smoking. zzz. nvm. so we'll wait for them. then the fish and co. staff sang their birthday song for dear with all the customers there looking at him.

later we also found out that quite a few birthday guys and ladies are having their birthday too. but one thing is that our birthday cake is the most expensive one. haha. ;p

then planned to go mind cafe, but its too crowded over there for us, 8 people. cause BC came after our meal at fish and co.

went to 7-11 got some drinks and sat somewhere and slack. ;p

going to SGH already. goodbye my lump. lmao.

came home from the minor sugery. im so tired.

went into the surgery room feeling really nervous. lyed on the bed and the surgeon talk to me about what she's going to do. the injection was pain. then when the surgeon cut it off, i dont really know. its when the stetching part where my hair stand. i can feel my ear being pull back by the stetching.

after that, i don't dare to touch my ear. think that its so different with the stetches on.

have to go for check up next week.

back to blog.

my operated ear is recovering. very itchy though, but im too afraid to touch it. there are stetches ! look too gross to post pictures up.

school as fine today, just that im very tired for school, i can't even get my brain to work.

be working tomorrow. same place. this a new phone for motorola. damn cool! it seems so high tech can. buttons fade in and out when you switch to different modes. there's this fast scroll like ipod. its dman cool. love it so much! do check it out!

im bored in school. having break now. huimin not in school. spying another group in their project discussion. haha.

my tiny spiders are removed from my ear. think my ear hole is gone. woke up early in the morning with my left eye swollen, was very itchy. and im very sleepy even though i slept early last night. zzz.

dear came to look for me with mum at the hospital to remove my tiny spiders from my ear. hurt alittle though. just a very short process. also bought dear his long awaited zui kway before heading to the hospital. went to plaza singapura to get somethings and then had our dinner. dear finally had his zui kway. haha. he's so satisfied.

last weekend was working at compass point. again. working there was really fun. mao is there ! then there's also a junior from CVSS is also there. like everyone there knows me. haha. just love the working environment. had dinner with mao on sat, then ivan was teasing him, which i don't know why. then sun had lunch with ivan and mao went to tease him, which i also don't know why. guys' mind are so confusing. then there's this samsung soul giant dummy set, which makes me laugh out loud. the junior call desmond, was taking it out and trying to promote it and also attracting customers to m1. haha. then everyone was smiling when he took that phone out. haha. then later we start lame-ing around about the phone. haha. mao even took a photo with him with the phone. haha. mao maybe uploading the picture to his friendster.

hope to get there to work next week. ;p

having an urge to go clubbing. but i don't know who to go with, cause the more the merrier. who want bring me to club ?? haha.

my agnes. B bag over at dear's place. ive no bag to bring to school tomorrow. ;( dear don't want to bring it to me. and im not going to dear's place, cause ive to wear formal tomorrow, and my formal wear is at my place. then dear going back for steamboat. so i told mummy that im having dinner. we're not meeting. even tomorrow ! even the sat !!!

since dear don't want to bring it to me, I DONT HAVE A CHOICE !

im angry, im angry, im angry !!!

dear and i is in a state of war. and dear is boiling hot now, while me... fine. haha. ;p

i've cool down way before dear got angry for me not picking up his calls. he ask me where will i go, and i replied don't know, WHEN I REALLY DON'T KNOW !!! ITS NOT SET YET RIGHT !!! SO ITS MY FAULT FOR REPLYING DON'T KNOW ?!

wonder how long can this last...

was having dinner at swensens at compass point. (when dear and i started our arguing session.) there's a roadshow there. saw leon whom i met at courts. he a jerk. haha. he wanted me to be his 2nd gf. ;/ anyway, its the past. from far he's charming, but from near, he charm won't last. haha =X

i still owed ivan a meal. which means i no need to go for dinner alone for ONE break. lol. (normally i have 2 breaks a day.) can also look for mao for one of my breaks ! this is one of the reason why i like to work over there, i go break with people i know. hehe

its formal wear tomorrow ! ;p

extract from dear's blog :

"if you read the entry before this, i ought to say, i really am not in the wrong..

i am not the mistake, and i am not the wrong-doer."

means i am the mistake to him ?! means im the wrong-doer ?! YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB IN PISSING ME OFF NOW !!

don't you angry over me again for not answering your calls, and dont you regret saying that !

i dont know why im feeling fine when dear and i is in war.

i didn't get anything from dear. all i knew was he didn't get much sleep yesterday night, hanging out late at night. i know he is very upset. i still do care, but i just can't bring myself to admit what i didn't do wrong. and i also dont know what did i do wrong. for arguing ? for causing your unhappiness ? haiz... im still pissed and upset.

- my promise to dear from the very start of the relationship will not be broken.

dear didn't went school today, as expected.

honestly, this morning mood was kinda gloomy before i reached school. was like before, taking bus 86 listening to sad sad songs concerning the same person.

just needed someone to talk to. go out later to chill. i don't wish to stuck home acting as if nothing happened. i just wanted time for myself.

this morning, was having communication skills 3 and the lecturer was talking about anger management. lol. she was saying that its not good to vent your anger on someone or a group of people when u get stress. then i was thinking about my situation. am i venting anger on dear cause my bag is not with me when i needed it?! hm.. maybe. im just not in the mood to answer any calls. is it my fault ?! its neither of my fault nor anyone's fault. can't i just be moody ?! why is it always i have to put a mask on me. im very very tired. maybe ending life is a better solution to end all these SHIT. haiz... but im not so selfish to do such things. haiz... let problems hurt me day by day till death comes to free me.

okay, life have to move on. like what the flirty lecturer says. haha. he's so funny. he said when he's home, he's a perfect husband, when its out, he's free. lol. he also said that he having lunch with another female lecturers and still compare who is better. still ask us which lecturer do we like and talk about that lecturer. good things not bad stuff. haha. i always enjoys his lesson, even though there's a lot to copy. ;p

i have to stand strong to everything. ive learnt more than i expected at this age. no matter how life must go on. ;p

mummy's having a high fever again. she was fine yesterday. guess i have to stay home later. ;/

im back home now. with a big blister on the bottom of my left foot and a cut on my right foot toe. i cant even bring myself to wash my legs again.

think im going on an empty stomach tonight. ;/

i don't know why, i find myself crying. my mind wasn't thinking about anything too. im puzzled.

i don't know where is dear and i now. whether we're fine now or just under throwing everything behind us. no one is giving in. i don't know. i even wonder are we still couple. i need some answers to such questions. im emotionally unstable now. i don't know why.

i need some sleep to clear off my mind. to stop thinking and feeling. to at least put everything aside.

please may this end at peace.

my day wasn't that good. spent the day reflecting on why am i so hurt.

dear said that he thought he've past the stage of life. does "the stage" means those days with his ex ?! if it is, means our relationship now is unstable, which also means that im like them. after doing so much, committing so much... im hurt and disappointed.

if "the stage" is about arguements/quarrels, the relationship is not progressing and each other are not trying to understand one another. i know there must have torlerence, but to some limit, someone will and has to blow it out.

i just need you to understand that people close to you are not there to suit you. you hated it when i don't answer your calls or give you attitude, doesn't mean that you can blow up on me. did you blow up at the person when he/she don't answer your calls or give you attitude ?!

i know im wrong to shut you away. but even if someone else calls me or sms me, i will do the same too. if im angry, what should i do ?! tell me !!!

i don't like solving things by acting as if nothing happened. at least give me a reply, tell me a solution. make me smile again.

i don't want any apologies. just understand.

thanks yisi.

things between dear and i are fine now. dear took a cab down to my place last midnight. actually, we didn't do much talking. and i cried my hurt out. it just simply solved by itself when we hug. maybe that's called love.

we slept at 3am. went to work like zombie. but my mood is better of cause.

everything is fine now. ;D

finally get to watch movies in the cinema again. cus i usually... =X

watched made of hounor and what happens in vegas. i prefer made of hounor ! its a great show. made me teared. ;( haha. both are comedy/romance. as for what happens in vegas, aston kutcher is so handsome in his suit !! wow ! haha.

before the movies, went to hongkong cafe for lunch... then dear spotted jack neo! haha. proud to have him in singapore ! ;p

after the movies, took a walk down from cineleisure to plaza singapura for train home. since school reopen we haven't gone out like this. have been working and studying. im serious in the hongkong trip ! wahaha.

we're at eski bar !

swing's drink!

mine !

both are very nice !

was working at tampines mall for the weekend. there's a pathetic on and off crowd. crowd flow = VERY LOW !!!! -.- i rather go back compass point. ;/

FUCK ! my gucci landyard fall off and its lost in school !! damn it. argh !!

fail my quiz also. zzz.

damn it damn it damn it.

dear's new layout is out. theme is desserte. haha.  got the brushing off deviant art. its cool for photoshop to have custom brushes. ;p

as for my layout.. should be on balloons. its done, but still deciding if i want to use it or not.