HAPPY 2009 TO EVERYONE !

reached home at around 8am and could only slept for 2 hrs. ARGH !!!

was a really really really CRAZY 31dec night and 1jan day. haha. its gonna be a long entry.

after school ends, when down to Suntec alone to get my eye brows done. head home, got prepared and waited for Swing to come over. met Kevin and Caric later at Clark Quay MRT then to central for dinner @ Burger King. Kevin's friend who was mention in earlier posts, Heechai and friends came to join us shortly.

slacked and stoned awhile and head down to see if we can enter earlier. and Heechai bought Vodka and not suppose to bring into club. while killing time before Rebel open, saw Huimin and her bf, he was kind of awkward to see us. after getting access to Rebel, guys went out to drink and waiting for Leslie to come. then left Swing, Caric and me there at the table. zzz. was kinda boring then. the DJ there can really get the crowd to dance, not like the DJ in dbl o. =X after the guys done with their drinking, Leslie, Kevin and Heechai came back drunk. poor Kevin, first time going to club gave him an unforgettable experience. he vomit. haha.

music there wasn't really good. mostly old tracks. ;/ some random guy ask me if i want to dance with him! haha. but got rejected. ;p Heechai got complained by someone and was chased out. tried entering again but ended up out of Rebel. haha. so changed of venue to She bang .oh ya, saw Weijie, LZY's buddy, outside Rebel. in the beginning he cant recognise me, so embarrassed. >.< met up with Elieen and saw her bf, he looks more mature in person and good looking. Elieen also told me something which sort of affect my mood. 

met up with my cousin outside Eski bar. saw Cao ge, the singer. love his songs. she was down after 9shots. out of her mind. me too, at She bang, empty a couple glasses of martel at a shot. made me so stone. was sitting beside Heechai. starting he lyed on a pillow on my shoulder, then i dont know what made me do it. i took the pollow off and lyed on his chest and photos were taken. omg. and my posture wasn't nice, my image spoilt. >.< when i woke up, my head was dizzy, my vision blurred, went to the toilet then out of the pub vomitting. ;/ i don't dare to lay on his chest again. >.< felt good though. haha. >.<

after the pub closes, scroll down to city hall mrt. for a toilet. haha. then after that went home cus no one could decide where to go, to eat, where to eat or head home. then just left. really had a great time. haha. ;p now i have clubbing khakis already.

cant imagine what is lined up for me tmr in school. omg.

some pictures of my crazy night.

the club

2 bottles of martel, green tea and coke

me and swing

the crowd

drunkards. Leslie and Heechai (funny face)

martel @ she bangs again.

crazy ppls !

overslept this morning. alarm did rang and thought i set it on snooze, its only when i woke up that noticed that i turn it off. haha. =X still gloomy and blasting songs to make myself awake.

rotting at home later. argh !!!! that what i don't like to be single. just the rotting part. ;p

SUN TANNING TOMORROW ! ;p

but another rotting day on sunday. need to get some plans. and some routines like going to the club ! haha. ;p

my mood is back. cheerful. ;p

was browsing friends photo and suddenly, i missed my curly hair. hope my mum can sponsor me. ;p

just changed my parting. happy cus i no need to worry my natural curl fringe. every morning have blow my fringe straight. haha. i have no idea why i want my fringe that way though. haha. ;p

miss those curls. this picture was taken before i go for my last rebonding. ;p 

10 behaviours i dislike to meet in public

1. BO (body odour)
   this always happens in the train. and sometimes i just can't help it, the smell will spread throughout the cabin when the train is moving.
2. fart
   haven't met much, but ya, the sound and the after thought... omg
3. ti ko peh (perverts)
   could take it to see those uncles contiunously glaring at certain spot. "hey, you can go get a hooker at geylang and enjoy 30 or 45 mins seeing them and at the same time doing them. you will feel better also."
4. picking nose
   just saw a guy around his early 30s sitting beside me digging his nose. omg. then the next thing he did was to touch the handle of the seat infront. OMG. that is so gross!!!
5. stinky mouth
   GET LOST ! faints. it worst than the smell of fart.
6. talk loudly
   be it on the phone or not. keep your lifestyle to you alright. like when on the train or bus, its just so annoying. i don't want to give a damn to your lifestyle. no offense, but china people always does that.
7. play music out loud
   phoes are getting more hi-tech now, thanks to us who learns programming. ;p but there are inventors who created EARPHONES !!
8. finding trouble
   its just so childish to do so. please get a more interesting life than finding trouble and creating fights. it doesn't impress me unless a guy stood up for me. ;p
9. cut fingernails
   kinda unhygenic and inconsiderate. the public is not a dustbin.
10. burp
    im fine with it. but it gets annoying everytime someone burps and i dont know why i can feel my ear drums vibrating. ;/

my mum dont want to sponsor me to perm my hair. ;( have to wait till my taiwan trip. -.-"

another thing when i hear Cao Ge's song, i sob more ! argh !!!!

currently, i have 3 votes on me looking nicer with straight hair, Leslie, Kevin and Heechai, 1 vote on me looking nicer with curly hair by Ahmad. ;/

will have straight hair till around august then i will re-decide on getting curly hair or not since my mum don't wants to sponsor. ;( going Taiwan around then, sales period, cus summer stock have to clear. hahaha... the salon prices are like 1/3 of those prices in Singapore.

for now, just grow my hair long. ;p

IM AWAKE AT THIS POINT OF TIME ! yawns.

simply just woke up so so early of the day SMILING to myself. i have no idea what did i dreamt about. at least my day started off happy. ;/

have a sudden urge of going K now, cause yesterday Kevin asked when want to go K. i missed my hard disk of songs. ;( its a really long collections of songs.

loged into facebook. lol. Jianlun's status "Wong Jian Lun is fucking down." and Roger's status "Roger Chua is scared of pub.". lmao. and was posted up few minutes ago. so drunk and he could still get online. lol. Heechai probaby snoring away on his bed i guess. lmao. they drinking the DA POU, cannon, can ?! there will be alot for them to puke out. haha. its 5 litres of Martell ! omg.

it rained today ! thanks to jian long!

was cloudy today. legs are really dark can, especially my knees. haha. legs are the part that is very difficult to turn back. not that i want to to turn back, but now kind of unbalance, my legs so dark, arms have the nicest tan, then body mild with a dark patch. zzz.

started to listen to Elva's - 冲动. start loving the song. make me have the urge to go K. but... have to clear the bottle of Martell @ Rebel first. >.<

at times i really felt bad myself. i dont want to be caught in the middle. i just want everyone to know, its time for me to be single now. let me enjoy myself and not be miserable by trying not to hurt anyone. let me crush on whoever, let me flirt on whoever, I JUST WANT TO BE SINGLE FOR NOW. i dont want to get settled down now. ;p

okay, so what happened today was....

lunching with Kevin and Heechai @ Yishun. ate chicken rice. window shopped @ northpoint. temptations everywhere for me. i made myself glance and go. no buying. else i will be spending my pocket money. gotta get a job real soon. i wore my Tuzki t-shirt cus...

Hee Chai Ong at 10:02pm January 3

LOL~ nt everyone wear also will cute one lehs LOL! =S oppss!!

nothing much on my lunching. i just dont want to stay home. really sorry that i turned down dan tok, was too last minute for the dinner cause my mum already cooked. ;/

after dinner, went to compass point. dad bought me a nike running shoe !! >.<

early morning kept vomitting my stomach acid. my body hasn't been well since last year end. agrh !! since ytd morning, ive an upset stomach. no pills at home and that i have to suffer.

im enjoy excerising, i love the product ! im starting to love my tummy now. next is my triceps, i had enough of flabby arms and is doing something to it. my thighs... i dont know how to reduce it. ;/ i need to seek help !

I want bangs again ! mummy is gonna cut it for me. waha. >.< had enough of decent look which i don't think suits me. time for some cuteness to unleash ! ;p

as for NAPFA, got all As except for my standing board jump, got a C for that. 2cm more for a B. ;( then as for sit and reach, i wanted to break the current record, but i see wrongly and thought i broke the record, did 51cm. the record is 56cm. agrh... was disappointed can. slept early last night. and woke up feeling happy though had a "nightmare" last night. lol.

dreamt that someone whom i don't have feelings for him wanted to kiss me. omg. then i was chased by another person whom i also don't have feelings for. lol. someone gonna get a great laugh when he knows about it.

just got my result slip for NAPFA. and i got GOLD ! hehe. trained for one month and got this result ! >.< at least its a consolation for me not breaking the record for sit-and-reach. ;/

so here is my result slip...

was "wah piang" the whole time in MSN with Swing and Kevin when i got home. haha. the way we use it just so funny. we also said "Steady pom pi pi". haha. FB all flooded with "wah piang eh" and "steady pom pi pi". think when we meet, "hello" will be replaced by "wah piang eh". lol. then maybe "Cheers" will be replaced by "Wah piang eh" too. hahaha. ;p

it all start when im chatting with Swing in FYP lab and Kevin just happen to saw "WAH PIANG EH U". then he start laughing. and so it started.

i got my bangs back !! >.< pester my mum last night to cut it for me. haha. decent look is over ~ time to welcome back my cheeky-ness. ;p

just reach home after slacking from starbucks @ Compass Point with Swing. had a nice chat, funny one too. walked home and met Shiming from 5B. and i found a khaki for marathons. haha. time to train. i want those marathon t-shirts !! she also shifted to SK around a year ago ! near me too. haha. can jog together !

im so looking forward to my jogs. ;p

my parents think im crazy to want to join a marathon. my dad, as usual, looking down on me. my mum, thinks its to boyish. -.- oh please ! no one is stopping me from joining !

now my motivation is....

im satisfied. just went out in my jogging attire and jogged for 20+ mins ! didn't expect that i could ran so long as my 2.4km was a dreadful one when i finished it. i ran out of home, down the stairs and from one overhead bridge to another for 2 rounds. non-stop running, up and down the stairs. legs were tiring while climbing, but still could that it.

next will be 30mins of running. i love having motivations ! >.<

went running again ! solid jogging with my choco. saw his red eyes when i dragged him out and down the stairs. somehow, he have a phobia for stairs. really soft-heatrted at that point of time. but still for his good, he need to exercise. jogged for 20+mins again. this time with choco.

hopefully, tmr can jog with qiyou. turned down the jog last night cus i was too bored at home around 8 and he's only coming around 11pm. slowly train up to run with shiming. will only ask her for a jog till i know that i can run far enough with her.

time to train up, tone up my body, pamper my skin and time for my friends. past 2yrs, i used to pamper people more than myself, taking care of others and neglecting me. having tired eyes, complexion become bad. time to save myself from whatever mistake ive done to myself. getting in control from now on. ;p

i have no idea why i tend to feel very happy and smile sweetly to myself. haha. haven't felt this before. feel good. >.<

i can wake up in the morning smiling, feeling very happy. its like im in love, but i think im not crushing on someone. weird huh ?! ;p

my project is going nowhere, making not much improvements with my current rate. things i dont know, i ask. but was put away.... until i ask about it. im so tired to do so after weeks of this shit. have always been tolerating.

i need someone to help me.

F*** !

happening morning. laughing and giving ideas to heechai's stadium, project. lol. that lazy bum dragged for one week to put his gate up can ?! almost gone due to computer hang. lucky him ~ haha

before he dig the wall. with huge lamp post. lmao

the giantic bar-like gate that lets elephants enter

he wants to lock his friends up in this stadium with those bars.

spotlight that only shine in a direction. lol.

lastly, a better one. lol.

my drawing of his stadium in MSN. lol.

nicer stadium of mine ! hahaha.

last night, can't get online. ;( scanning my lappy for virus for the whole night. so bored can ! virus still cant be detected, the virus don't allow me to get into task manager. agrh !!! brought it to school, hopes someone can clear it for me.

my lappy is sort of back. hope to reformat, need my hard disk back though. ;/

got my Left4Dead pc version, but can't seems to connect through garena. zzz. was really tired when i reach home ytd around 10pm. lol. its too dark to jog and my choco is ready to sleep. ;/ today have to jog longer !agrh !!!

poor heechai's stadium is wasted, cant imply to the progam for animation. presentation is tomorrow ! lol. happy chionging, LAZY BUM ! for reference, his stadium will be on my blog. hahahahahaha. evil sister !!!

Swing's craving for Left4Dead should be making her crazy. lol. maybe today can get to play online. ;p

im having a stomach-ache for laughing. i just got my greatest achievement of all, i bullied my bully ! finally, he got his karma. he made me so speechless most of the time and now its my turn ! evil people will get their karma.

hahahahahahhahahaha.

resting myself after my bath after my 4km run. lol. feeling good. not as tiring as my 2.4km. should be tiring for choco. hehe.

my motivation is "not to stop." and my willing-ness to contiune. ;p

just came back from my run with Swing. ;p

spend the late afternoon chatting about clearing the balance at rebel tomorrow. after making our mind on what time to meet for dinner, told Roger, then here comes the problem ! Roger dont want to meet at hougang ! argh ! now back to level 0. -.-"

btw, another group of friends going rebel ! woohoo !

next friday, st james power house free flow from 9pm-12am !! hope nothing is on for friday and if i could get more friends to go.

its freaking early right now and im blogging. lol. body alarm rang like 20mins ago.

i'd agreed to join with jianlun and heechai for addidas sundown. its a fact now and im not backing out in any point of time. I want the finisher t-shirt !! and for that i have to complete the 42km. don't think that i can run all the way need serious serious training ! heechai read a book on marathon, it takes 1yr to train for 42km. -.-" there's another way to train, complete 10km within 4hrs a day. gonna try on sunday/monday and start saving money to join 42km addidas sundown.

wish me luck ~

just woke up. was lying on my bed waking and going back to sleep. ;D

went Rebel last night. not much crowd and no 'eye candies'. =x

all i knew is that im testing my limits to drinking. i emptied few glasses of martell with green tea (no idea how many glasses) after each cheers, 1 glass of cranberry vokda and 2 glasses of vokda lime, 2 shots of tequali shot. im dizzy and dancing on the dance floor. haha. guys kept tapping and pushing me and Swing's head, but we don't know who did it. i just anyhow push the guys and was pushed back that almost made me fall. lol.

photos be up soon. heading out till late! >.<

getting use to stay out late.

went out with with Jianlun, Heechai and Roger. when i reach Somerset MRT, saw Jianlong, he's going acid bar with friends and the girl he like. haha. he kept wanting to intro more guy friends to me, but all his tall guy friends are attached. haha. then walked to Cineleisure to meet the guys, i met Qiu and Mengkiat, they're going to st james, but too bad, im booked for the night already. reached Kpool, saw Peh Chi Kong.

had my only meal of the day at BBQ chicken with Roger. and got tickets for The Huanting of Molly Hartley at 1.25am. after Kpool, we went to the youth park for satay. have to spend like 2hrs till the show starts. slacked at coffee bean. Jianlun help me get the largest white chocolate dream can. omg. drank till im scared of it. mixed the remaining of our drink and played 'zong ji mi ma', the person lose drink a mouth of the mixture(its latte with strawberry/banana), it tasted like medicine. after that went back Cineleisure Emax, almost everyone in the LAN shop playing Left4Dead !

for the movie. hm... storyline alright. but was quite scared in the climax. visual and the background sound almost made me jump. oh ya, its the first time Heechai watch horror shows in the cinema, he covered his eyes when the climax comes !! lol. only Roger and Jianlun don't feel a thing when they were watching the movie. after the show, slack outside Meritus Mandrian and talking about ghost stories and guess what ?! Heechai sit away from us. hahaha. the story that Jianlun told me about OCH kinda scared the shit out of me. he went in with friends holding hands, then someone shouted and everyone let go, then they holded back. one of them was told to call the person infront of her. on the phone, she was told to stop walking, but the person infront of her kept walking on. and the person on the phone with her is outside of OCH. no one knew who is the one she's holding. OMG. my mind is freaking me out can ?!

decide to go home and the guys sent me back. on our way, decide to have supper at Jln Kayu. after that, the guys sent me back. the cab driver drove very fast, definitely around 120km/hr. as he turn, my butt move with it all the way back till my place. lol.

reached home around 4.30am. spent the money i saved for the 2 weeks. so darn broke now. ;(

tanning cancelled again ! ;( heading town later, this time with Swing.

came home, log into Facebook, i saw freaking 17 comments on last night rebel's photos. haha. went out to town to shop for Swing's friend's bday present.

Aaron making me happy can !! >.<

Aaron:  if you slim down,  your figure should be damn powerful

Me:  wahahha. dont make me so happy can

Aaron: haha.  you got things what

hahahaha. hope so. heard about boobs getting smaller when slimming down. and another thing i don't wish to have is boyish body, i want a hour glass body ! >.< hahaha.

monday will be my start of intensive training of marathon ! wish me luck ~

bought CLEO. there's tips on marathon and being fit. be posted up in READS.

im satisfied to complete 10km !

during the run, all i know is my legs were tired and all i told myself is not to stop and at the same time counting down to the number of metres left. started from 8.15pm till 9.30+pm ! woohoo ~

its an accomplishment !

super happy and very motivated !

*one guy friend*:  i think if u slim down will be pretty
Me: wahhaha.

he don't want rumors and he is attached. was chatting about gym and my 10km which comes to this motivation ! ;p and he also said that i can make it for the finisher t-shirt !!! AH !!!!!!

i love my friends ! lol.

there's too many instances and too many people to thank. im so blessed with such people around me.

argh !! i just spend money on a bracelet. saving up for friday's steamboat, but now i think my $50 for this week gonna go dry by before the steamboat starts. i hate asking for money. seriously, $50 per week cant get me to save much. argh ! i need money for night life ! 

im headache is driving me crazy just now. had headache ytd after lunch too. today's headache came earlier, after breakfast. damn it ! felt better after laughing over Heechai's character. lol. i thought its a female when its a male. lol. it just looks weird can. not posting it up, to rude to do so. haha. =x oh ya, must stop bullying anyone from now, Leslie, Yida and Roger saying that evil is in my blood. lol. must be a better person ! haha. ;p Jeremy felt weird when i didn't bully him. lmao. Heechai kept calling me beast yesterday when he is one. lol. and say that he can sense the beast within me. lmao. no more KARMA for me. ;p 

was planning to head down to my god parents house ytd, but dad didn't inform in advance that we're going down. today is 10km run day and i already made arrangement with Shiming. might be going my god parents' house tomorrow for before chinese new year visiting.

im super jolly this morning and i don't know why. haha. maybe cus dad just gave me money to get CNY clothes, though its too late, but at least i have money. >.<

STEAMBOAT tomorrow with Swing and the guys. Hope Heechai remember to book ! he suppose to help me book, then he wasn't told about the timing and i was out jogging... and so he waited for 2 hrs for my reply. SORRY !!!

yesterday went running with Shiming to Seletar Camp !! she taught me quite a lot of skill in jogging ! and the best part is i never felt that good in drinking 100plus. hahahahaha. might conquer Sembawang in the later part of my training. cus from my place to there is around 42km !! means its Sengkang, Hougang, Ang Mo Kio, Yishun, Sembawang! nice~ ;p

3rd motivation !! >.< 

Me: ytd i ran over to seletar camp ! ;p
JianLong: wow
JianLong: u are power
Me: from sengkang
JianLong: jog along the road side?
Me: from sk to jln kayu
Me: then over there lor
JianLong: think u are going to slim down very fast
Me: haha >.<
JianLong: super pretty le

had a bad night last. went visit god parents with a terrible nose and tired self. its a suffering can. i need some quality sleep, but at least its better than before, during IPP, felt like my body is going to break down anytime. 

yesterday, went to AMK hub to shop since dad gave me money to. saw a vest and a red top, both left with the last piece. i dont mind getting the vest, but the top wasn't in good condition. the freaking China woman kept making me buy it. like if i don't, she start cursing me. however, the malaysian lady was better and more determind to get the clothes sold. Luckily, Huimin's there to talk back for me. haha. got the vest in the end. 

last night when i tried clothes with the vest, mum 'splashed cold water' on me. again. we obviously have different sense of style. She just loves to 'splash cold water' can !! everytime i want to go out, she tries to stop me. im old enough to make my decision and she only have 2 choices, either to let me free or lock me up at home. so darn pissed off for that.

enough of my rants. 

well dress up today for shopping and felt good about it ! Steamboat later too ~ ;p

reached home around 1.30am. had steamboat with the guys.

left school early for last minute shopping at Bugis Street with my labmates. got a top ! ;p met Swing after that and went to shop Bugis Junction. Met Heechai and Jianlun then Roger. Heechai wanted to get a Bonia bag for his sis and asked for my opinion. the moment i saw it, i went "OMG!". lol. the colour looks so aunty. Swing's reaction is th same too. haha. I will laugh if he bought it without asking opinions. in the end, his sis requested for a jacket.

we didn't went to the House of Steamboat as planned, its too crowded. head down to Happy Pay (Tian Tian) Steamboat instead. Their service is good. JianLun really craves for prawns, Heechai made rounds and rounds just to get prawns. JianLun peel them and we just eat. haha. thanks ! cus there're too many shells and empty plates, we asked the staff to clear it for us. so me, being helpful, past the plates with prawn shells to the staff which... landed on Roger. its an accident which made everyone teased for the whole night. im sorry alright ! ;p Swing can really non-stop eating. after everyone is full, she's still eating. and after we decide to go, she can still eat.

later walked down aimlessly to Laselle. played poker till 12am when the security chased us out. the forfeit for guys was any form of exercise and the girls was hitting of hands. haha. nice game !

head down aimlessly again to Mustarfa. haha. its Heechai's first time there. on the way there, i met cockroaches which made me so scared than before. no idea why, but just scared.

head home after that. waiting for the next meet up ~ ;p

the celebrities we met in Bugis. Hei Ren is tall and big in size !!

Steamboat @ Happy Pay (Tian Tian) Steamboat

playing poker @ Laselle

had running nose. felt so terrible. 

had my reunion steamboat and wiping my nose every now and then. argh. head is feeling terrible too. gonna sleep early !

Dragon people had more good news than bad news in 2008, year of Rat. But the fortune of Dragon people in 2009 will be slide down a little bit. Dragon people will have a better health than last year. But the career luck and money luck won't be that good comparing with 2008. This is because that many Unlucky Stars appear in the same time and those Unlucky Stars bring obstacles and suppress morale on Dragon people. Fortunately, there is a Lucky Moon Star coming this year. That means someone will appear to help and support you when you are in big trouble. Thus, you have a chance to take a break while fighting against adversity.

Career: You had the Lucky Moon Star showing in career area in 2008. You could get the support from a female mentor and you could have the chance to show you talent on your job position. However, it will be different in 2009. The coming Unlucky Stars will block your career opportunity. Your job performance won't reach your goal. The your characteristics will become passive and negative. The bad reputation and dispute will come next. You need great energy, strong determination and persisting patience to get out the predicament in the year of Cow.

Money: The Lucky Moon Star should be a good sign for you money luck. But your wealth will increase or not, depending on the progress of your career or business. Since the career luck is tough this year, therefore the money luck will be limited. Another Unlucky Star is found in money area. That means you have a opportunity to earn more money, but you still have a good chance to suffer money loss. In short, your money luck in 2009 is that money comes and money goes. Since the money luck is unstable. You shouldn't try any gambling to wish wining more by a small investment. This dream won't happen in 2009.

Love: Your love fortune will be about the same to year 2008. The good news is the Lonely Star doesn't appear in 2009 anymore. If you are married, then you will spend more time with your spouse. Both of your hearts will get even closer. You should be able to maintain a happy marriage. If you are in love, your dating time will increase. You and your lover will get along well and the love relationship will be stronger and closer. You will feel harmony, happiness, sweet and warm all the time. If you are single, then you might be lonely for a while, since there is no strong love sign coming.

Health: Basically, there is no major health problem for Dragon people in 2009. You will have a safe and healthy Cow year. However, the seniors still have to pay attention in September and December. If they get sick during that time, they need more time to recover. If the young people don't not have enough sleeping at night, then they will have trouble to concentrate during the day, which will affect their performance at work. If they keep living this way, their health will deteriorate in the second half of the year.

Fortune: The luck of Dragon people in the year of Cow is not that great, but it's still fine. Although, Dragon people will encounter more trouble in career area. But they still have a helper or supporter around to protect them. As long as you focus on your job duty, make sure to deliver your task completely, avoid the argument with people, spend more time with your mentors, then your career should be fine in 2009. There is a money loss sign this year. You shouldn't expect any good money return from the investment. If you are not greedy and won't gamble, then you should be able to balance your budget in the year of the Cow.

was on my way back that i heard 羅志祥 - 搞笑 over fm933. then was randomly thinking about the past and recent happenings. for now, i hope to stay single so as to not get hurt and tear/cry over a guy and at the same time knowing that i will definitely lose when love strikes.

to me, love is wonderful. to have someone's hug and felt love, to have someone there for you when you feel lonely. haha.

also to me, love is complicated. its just to hard to get the feeling to love someone when there isn't any. love is never about forcing. love just came from the bottom of one's heart.

though for now, i have what i want, but friends will eventually find their love ones and people who 'cares' for me will eventually give up caring me. at the same time, someday, i will eventually give up 'caring'.

i will let fate decide for me. i will not resist. mister right, don't be late!

Its officially Chinese New Year and i don't get any festive moods again like many other years. going god brother place soon. only. heading Aunt's place tomorrow. only looking forward for tomorrow. gambling and meeting of my cousins.

just hope that no one asked where's my bf. lol. everyone will be surprised to hear about the news, but that's the fact. ;p

awaiting to get back to school, have to get my job done ASAP !

rushed off to aunt's place in the noon. played blackjack and lost. then ended up aunty gave me the money that ive lost. >.< and everyone was asking where is my bf, of cus i said no more already. then 4th uncle told me jokingly told me, 旧的不去，新的不来 (the new ones doesn't come when the old one is still here). haha. 

then just as we left and on our way to sent my cousin to her grandma's place, bad news came. my god mum fell and hit the back of her head in Johor. why she's there, cause my god bro got a house there and my god family went over to stay. she took gasric pills with an empty stomach and was dizzy that cause her fall. bled a lot. she was sent to malaysia's hospital to stop the bleeding before going to Singapore General Hospital's Accident and Emergency. She now alright and is in the ICU for further observation. its my first time there to A&E and the ICU. Luckily, she's alright. was praying for her on my way there, almost tearing. 

weird thing is that she doesn't want to let relatives know about it. its always good to have people around you to be there for you. why we're informed cus my god bro dailed the wrong no. to my dad. and now everyone knew about it.

i finally let it out in Facebook about my unhappiness. there's too much unspoken hidden within me, known to a few. why i wanted a boyfriend that much before is because i hope someone could bring me out of my unhappiness, but i was wrong, with me having a boyfriend is just someone to be there to listen me out, simmer me down and giving a pause to my situation. i will plan my own way out and i will make the best decision.

done with my unhappiness. this morning, ive posted photos of my labmates playing poker in the lab and got an email from a deputy director to remove it. he seems like a nice person to me, he told me in a good way rather than commanding me. haha. for that he set a good impression. haha. FYI, i removed the photos.

met another primary school friend in Facebook and its another instance when im afraid that he cant remember me. haha. cause i found him through secondary schoolmate's photos. lol. and that schoolmate is in Commandos, think he's one too !! wow ! everyone i get to know recently is fit !! i have to become one too ! ;p

went jogging with Qiu. didn't complete my 10km, but had a great talk with him.

he made me want to go Phuture. i want to have fun ! >.<

i forget to bring my ipod today. luckily, it wasn't that bored in school nor on my ride home. ;p

im duper happy now that i got my codes working. there's still work though. its like 2more weeks life luckily this code finally get to work. have been searching for the source code for like 2 weeks and leads to nothing. did changes and finally the right source code appeared ! phew ~ then just nice when ive done, my supervisor came to check. haha.

i need more sleep to think !!

its another satisfaction today ! >.<

but i cracked my brain researching the whole morning then ended up using another solution. at least i get to solve that problem. my brain just not warmed up to think this morning. lol.

brought my project home to amend some bugs.

yesterday was asked to City Alive with free ticket. its a party. was tempted to go, but no one wants to go with me. then Roger told me that its an outdoor party. WTH. then i rejected my friend's offer for saving me from being super sticky and stinky after it. then Leslie came and asked me if i going, cus he cant get anyone to go. hahaha. even if its fun, the heat will ruin everything.

was telling Jianlong yesterday that i felt that im going to lose control in myself. cause i was tempted from everywhere to go partying. for sure, i will drink and for sure i will drink till i get dizzy. unless the usual guys come along, else i really cant imagine what will happen. haha. Jianlun is quitting his habit to club/pub, Heechai is reducing unless for special reason. only they will take care of the girls (me and Swing). argh !! 

i want to "reward" myself after stressing over my project. I want night life!! >.<

yum yum. cooked spag for breakfast and early dinner !

breakfast menu is egg spag. dinner menu is shark fin, crab meat, abalone spag ! woohoo ! its just the left over of last night's shark fin soup. ;p

its super yummy !! ;p

be alone at home till night. mummy went to her friend's place till night. HAHA. slacking with Swing later at starbucks. ;p she's back from BKK and missing BKK. lol.

im going nuts with my mum. was chatting with Swing at Starbucks just now and my mum called and tell me to get home. felt bad for telling her that she's annoying and tell her not to be like that. i almost shouted out, "F***".

she even tell me not to go out tmr if i sleep late. WTF. im fine with getting lack of sleep. i dont want to be home early and to sleep early, its a weekend for god's sake !! can i just have time to enjoy ?! im trying my best to be a good girl, just that i need time myself, stop chaining me up. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE !! i need some peace when im out and i need some freedom and also time to relax after stressing over my project. i know my limits and i know what im doing.

if this carry on longer, i think i will get negative thinking like before.

im really suffocating.