hm... didn't have a great night sleep cus my movements were restrained by choco. slept longer and obviously being late for school. haha.

as what ive posted in facebook and msn, I LOVE CORDON BLEU !! thanks to Welfred ! HAHA !

was last minute invited to his place for visiting. I LOVE HIS HOUSE CAN !! nice surrounding and super duper cosy. He lives in The Shaughnessy and its a town house. so nice can ! hahaha. met up with Swing before meeting Jianlun. we started playing Mahjong when we reached. no cash involved, we replaced it with coke. zzz. i drank 5 cups. Jianlun's friend have to drink 16 cups. LOL. can't remember his name, the super funny guy. haha. then was chase off by Welfred's mum as her friends wanted to start their gambling session. haha. played blackjack and Swing lost the final round which made her finish off the remaining of the strawberry rolls. HAHA. then slacked in Welfred's room. small but very cosy. now i know why the guys love to go his house after our night life. If i have a house like that, i wouldn't want to go out. had dinner, but i was not interested in food that the point of time, still ate though. LOVE the shark fin, somemore its cattered food !

then slacked by table and chairs by the pool. wow. so relaxing. then was called for drinking cause Welfred's dad gave him a bottle for us to clear. and its a CORDON BLEU ! rich people. really love it without mixer. i even felt the taste when i got home. haha. played Zhong Ji Mi Ma(avoid the secret number) to clear the cordon bleu. haha.

head back for blackjack, but me and Swing didn't play. i didn't gamble at all. i know my luck wasn't good. haha. Welfred is the banker. Roger win quite some money and Jianlun lost. then another round of food. everyone loves the shark's fin. Jianlun ate 3 bowls, Swing ate 2 bowls in the 2nd round. haha. then Jianlun kept asking Roger to get more prawns for him, but no one did. he was even dared to eat the remaining prawns and fried rice with Heechai. lmao. but they didn't. LOL.

head back to another around of blackjack. sat beside Jianlun, his cards are really bad. LOL. the 2 main aims for Welfred is Jianlun and that funny guy's card. LOL. the best part is when Welfred tricked for those who have 22points and above, which is game over for them, to open their cards, then that funny guy opened. stupid ! haha. then he went to ask Welfred's mum if that's right, then his mum says that he's stupid to do so. haha. then he said that Welfred's family are all cheater jokingly. haha. Before me and Swing went back, Jianlun is cashless already. haha.

Heechai another funny guy. was taking candid photos as usual. He kept avoiding the camera. sorry, my camera is a wide angle camera. no matter how he tried to avoid, he will still appear in the photos. haha. what's that bad about taking photo ?! haha. did he get bad experience from taking photo ?! like he what he got from meeting the dog who chased him ?! LMAO. he didn't turn up in most photos too.

Heechai and Jianlun send us out for cab home cause we don't know the route out, we made a few turns before reaching his place. wonder what happen after we went off. HAHA.

reached home around 12.30am. haha. BTW, dad strike 4D, not a lot cause its few dollars of ibet. haha. better than nothing.

smiling away ~

made my friends guessing who is my crush. >.< it all started with me posting, "Shuxian kept having THE URGE to make her first move. >.<" then comes comments after comments. Lishan pester Huimin and me to say out. HAHAHA. this is fun can ! =x opps. its evil ! wahaha. everyone thinks its from school. maybe, maybe not ?! hahaha. >.<

i don't know how to start explaining what happened yesterday. i almost got attached like how i did with my first ex. but this time i think he's joking at first. be it that he is or not, i don't care. he is financially stable and fairly a good person. just that im not willing to be with someone when i don't have feelings for him. and partly cause of what happen to him before and his "status". managed end any misunderstandings, to make him think that i think he was joking all the time.

was busy with my project. next week is my last week of school. spend the days stressing over my project. its another stressing day on sunday.

had a great time with Swing just now. pam pered myself by buying the rose scented body milk and perfume from The Body Shop.

Moroccan Rose

Heechai last minute texted me to look for a jacket for his sis's bday. -.-" didn't find any though. super lazy can. his sis's bday is tomorrow and till know he haven't get it. LAZY BUM ! her sis told him that she wants a jacket on the day we went for steamboat can. like 2weeks and he didn't look for it. zzz.

Slacked in Starbucks @ plaza singapura. oh ya, the staff gave Swing the wrong size of vanilla latte and she got an extra cup. 

Walked home after we alighted the MRT as usual. After parting with Swing, i smiled my way home. smile because it happen ~ though *someone* treats me HOT and COLD. zzz. a friend told me something like this, "so what you're losing hope when you're not in a rush for a boyfriend ?!" and currently, dont intend to when feeling in love is better than being in love. sweetness all the time and it dont hurt as much too. ;p most of all, SINGLE AND AVAILABLE ! 

out tomorrow! movies ~ 

my cough is turning from bad to worst. zzz. it even woke me up this morning. zzz.

bride wars today. hope its nicer than the review Heechai gave me. ;/ looking for khakis to watch Underworld : rise of the lycan, ask me out ! ;p

smile ~

just came back. Bride Wars is a nice show ! touching, but didn't teared. just feel stronger when im single. haha.

bought materials from Art Friends to make gel candles for friends for Vday. hope they don't think that im weird, esp the guys. haa. ;/

slacked in Starbucks @ PS again. LOL.

saw a ex-schoolmate, used to crush on him. kinda "regret" that i didn't smile at him when our eyes met. haha. NVM, ITS OKAY.

be rushing project and make sure everything is working well. wish me luck ~ ;p

watching hot shot and doing my project for the whole day. missed my jogging again for the whole week. ARGH !!!! 

problems encounted in my project. zzz. darn ! just hope that i have a clear mind. told my mum that i will sleep super late. then this morning was disturbed to go to the temple to pray for a better luck for the year. but it ends yesterday. zzz. I WOKE UP FOR NOTHING CAN ! was so moody this morning. which also leads to my brain not functioning well again.

zzz.

went to listen this song. its more emotional now than i listen to it in secondary school. reading sentence by sentence as the song goes, memories just flashed across. times when we had breaks together, times when we hang out, times when we sit outside the lab/tutorial rooms chatting while the lecture arrives, times when we skipped lectures together, times when we chat and times when we joke...  those days will past as we graduate. to friends i knew in NYP, i will miss those days, i will miss the fun with you guys, hope we will meet up soon for a gathering. 

"Graduation (Friends Forever)"

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

for a moment last night, i thought my choco learnt the play dead trick. just taugth him last night. he already knew how to stand with 2 legs, sit, lay down, shake hands, listening to the command to eat and stay. haha. he also will bark to reply when he is asked if he wants to eat or not. he just LOVES to eat. haha. he's like a pig !! haha. he is also very brillant, 2 days is all i need to teach him a trick ! 

was unhappy over a matter. if the person tries to make me unhappy, yes he did it. happy ?! im already very unhappy and tolerate most of the time in this FYPJ. im very GLAD that i have mature friends who don't tag up in FB and insult people i rant about. im already tolerating till im going crazy, i almost wanted to throw my chair over or use a baton and profusely whack on the thick skull till it becomes powder.

till now im still on fire. this matter happens at around 4.30pm, its like 4 hrs later im not simmer down. my unhappiness usually won't last this long. i also don't know why im so upset, my blood is boiling hot. no one had made me so unhappy BEFORE ! YOU DID A GREAT JOB IN STARTING THE DISATER !

TO EVERYONE, PLEASE DON'T LISTEN TO ONLY ONE SIDE OF THE STORY AND MAKE CONCLUSIONS. 

there'll be another entry after FYPJ. may all uncleared things be said then. if anyone would want to just see the surface, THEN BE IT ! I DON'T F***ING CARE ! GET LOST ! 

enough of the unhappiness. trying to feel better on my way home from school and also now.

earlier on the day, before i get so pissed off, was stunned. camping in FB after chatting with Kimberly and understanding what happen that made her mind clear in leaving Daniel Tok. no comments to be made. time for a new life for them. then saw a status about Kendrick that he is a loser. its his friends fooling around his FB. LMAO. tagged too. me and Yida are campers of FB today. haha.

why i was stunned ?! Lingwei came with another guy friend called Darren. not the Darren Koh i knew before. then she asked me out. and say that im a camper of FB. i felt blur. then she intro Darren to me and said that he want to see who am i. stunned.

then while i was going to fill water, saw Yida, Darren and Kendrick outside their labs. after walking pass, Darren called my name and said Hi. just Hi. made me wonder did i hear wrongly that he just said hi or tell me to stop ?! haha whatever.

he have a nice and bright smile, maybe cause he is tanned. ;p

im not only camping in FB, also camping in Huimin's lab, which is also where Yida and friends are. trying to take a break out from the tense room. i just don't like to wear a mask acting nothing has happened.

thanks to everyone who concerns about me. you guys made me cool down better. else my lab will be in a mess with broken chairs and PCs. LOL. =x

have no idea why im humming to Ne-Yo - Miss Independent. starting to like the song after a month of listening to the song. haha. ;p

FINALLY ! the stuggle is over. haha.

the days just past so fast this few days.

previously, a labmate told me someone interested in knowing me. LOL. he told me, not chinese and drives a car to school. LOL. just happen to know which guy is it. haha. Heechai told me 'jiayou'. -.- im still enjoy single life ~ time to get worked up with enjoyment ! WAHAHA. available but at the same time not available. LOL. its complicated.

i've got "market value" okay ! ;p

having mixed feelings currently.

woke up super early today. so looking forward for today. looking forward for taking photos, looking forward for giving my hershey's kisses which i bought last night (spend $30 while shopping in NTUC). made rose scented gel candle for Huimin and Swing. stained my fingers, but managed to wash off this morning. hee.. ;p

was chatting with Jianlong. kinda sad about graduating. the fun will be gone along with graduation. i will missed the life in school with friends. the laughter and the fun. its the last day to enjoy already. missing so so much. time to have another beginning. another step of my plan of my life. moving on in life and missing the joy in NYP. take care everyone. we well meet again, stay in touch alright !

for my next step now is to ENJOY. yida and friends are already calling me clubber. LOL. i just want to go there for some fun. not that often also. HAHA. ;p its time for myself and enjoying it.

don't really have much mood to blog.

was called up to Phuture last night. had great fun. and i managed to persuade Jianlun when he from the start decided not to club and drink. haha. my promoting skills are still there ! ;p

started with 1 jug of vodka lime and 1 jug of bourbon coke. then 2 jugs of cranberry vodka and 1 jug of vodka lime for playing 5-10-15. then drank Flaming Lambor with Swing. then after that went to look for Leslie and Yida if they wanted to drink Tequila Shot with me. they don't want. i ask Dan Tok, he bought me 2 shots. Didn't get the chance to drink  Bacardi 151, guys told me its not good, burns up the throat. Jianlun drank half a shot for me, maybe i look kinda drank ?! then he told me to stop drinking if i treat him as a friend. haha. okay.

head to dance floor. and then totally can't remember what happened till i was vomitting outside of Phuture. was told that i kept falling down in the dance floor. now im super embarrassed. also told that Heechai dragged me out. and i only remember that i was laying on Heechai when i woke up after vomitting and the rest were in the club. super sorry that i kept him there. think the bouncer don't let me in so Heechai accompanied me . after that, we went in with me holding on to him and looking at the floor. vomitted again in the restroom. head to the dance floor and dance till it closes. at the point of dancing, i don't feel any thing, though i still get jelly legs. after exiting Phuture, i was still dizzy. the guys having supper. and came back home.

I really have to thanks Heechai for taking care of me the whole night. Jianlun too for stopping me from drinking. with them around, i won't worry about myself. they are really great guys ! ;p

no tanning today. its vday and Swing have a date, why should i take up her chance with a guy ?! haha.

having the thought of staying home for today. then Choonhua asked me out. my aim is to stay out of town and city area for today. will be super crowded too. but have to head town tomorrow with Choonhua. she wants to get her hair trimmed and shop for shoes. as for me, get a vest for Heechai. he blamed me for losing the buckle of his vest last night, since he took care of me and treating the drinks last night, i will get one for him in return. 

watching Underworld with Jianlun on monday ! ;p finally got someone to watch it with me. ;p

im not catching Underworld tomorrow. ;( sad....

went out with Choonhua again. ;p head to bugis. window shopping. intended to look for a vest for Heechai which he told me to get the buckle, and i have no idea where to get it. end up no need to get for him. haha. then after that, almost confirm everything with Jianlun about tomorrow, then cancelled cus Jianlun and Heechai working for a friend. zzz. somehow being rejected. zzz. asked Aaron and Derek before if they wanted to watch and was rejected, now Jianlun. ;( 

mummy sponsor me to get a curler !! >.< got the 10 in 1 philips one. ;p and she still owes me one Gucci wallet which she told me in Yr2 that if i successfully pass all my modules without repeating, she will get me the Gucci wallet i want. >.<

heading town with mummy tomorrow cause i remembered that she wants to do some shopping after CNY. haha. be the only busy week shopping till i get serious in getting a job. trimming of hair on tuesday. wed and thurs should be going to IT0601's/Yisi chalet. haha. just a gathering with IT0601 people who is clique with Yisi. ;p asking around if the people wants to go Wild Wild Wet or not, cause Escape is boring. got some replies(positive and also negative ones). i don't have much time to ask around too. might just end up cycling. i haven't met a chalet which is not boring. that's why i tried to organised, just hope everyone is spontaneous... but... somehow disappointing.

im tired. slept at 3am for doing the layout. and my body alarm rang at 10am this morning. zzz. then did all the window shopping, which is tiring. im going for my hot bathe and time to relax myself... pamper my eyes(do eye mask), pamper my tired legs and aching back(for not having a good sleep last night). go to do something to my throat, it hurts when i laugh and i talked like im losing my voice. its like i don't have the "qi"(enegy) to talk, don't even mention about shouting. zzz.

plan changed again. when to trim hair with mummy today! love the service when we just paid for like $24 per person. felt like a princess. finally had my almond paste too. then head to town for some shopping and main aim is to get clothes for mummy. but ended up, im the one who got clothes. 2 tops from Dorothy Perkins and 1 skirt from Zara. hahaha.

went to Gucci. the wallet i wanted is no longer available. zzz. didn't like any, but maybe the one which looks like snake skin?! zzz. i really love the one with the ribbon buckle. ;(

im a happy girl today ! got to have a good rotting at home tomorrow.

i have so many things to blog.

spend today rotting at home. really rotting. woke up almost 1pm, still gloomy. got online and Jianlong ask me out for movies at 2.40pm. how would i make it ?! haha. moreover, they are not watching Underworld. ;/ anyway, i got my hands on the Underworld which i wanted to watch. ;p

watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, not bad. but some parts are boring.

and i final finished watching 篮球火, Hot Shot. nice show, but the actions and stunts were to over reacting. TW drama are always this way. ;p wonder what other TWdrama is nice. ;p

my camping in FB habit hasn't changed. camped FB for the whole day. and i was invited to ART SPACE 2 this friday in dbl o !!! wondering if i could get khakis over, cause already get rejected by Leslie and Yida. i know its not good to keep on getting drunk. and i really really want to control. just when i start drinking i can't get myself to stop. argh !!! i need someone to control me. got to control myself !!! the urge always never fails to come when i start my playlist. moreover, my blog with the songs. OMG !!!

i have no idea why im enjoy today for rotting at home. haha. intend to go for a jog which i ended up glazing on my bed till dinner time and its too dark out there to jog now.

last night chatted with Colin, he volunteered to look for a guy for me. LOL. we chatted about me getting flings. haha. he said my expectations is high. lol. i just told him, that my eyes are attracted to tall guys, presentable, having a car is a bonus and is sweet. is it really that HIGH ?! im fine with no car, not tall. haha. Xiao Zhu is my MR PERFECT !! he is tall, good looking, very sweet and caring. then cause was chatting with Heechai also, he told me not to praise him. LOL. wth. 

im not serious in getting flings okay. my heart is open yet close. i don't mind meeting guys, i dont mind being close to guys, but not yet for relationships. unless someone can open my heart for him. ;/

i don't mind having a day's bf.. but no candidates. haha. just kidding.

just came back.

met Kokboon. he was ranting of how bored he is and he just got his heart broken. so to be nice, i asked him out. had dinner at ThaiExpress and then watched New in town. rather funny show. especially the pee-ing in the wild part. LOL. then we parted. he went to look for a friend. hope he felt better. ;p walked down from Cathay to Paragon to meet Swing after her work. was chatting about that night in phuture which made me blush. omg. i really felt silly. DAMN. really really really gonna control my drinking. should have took Ziyang's word seriously that night. omg.

suppose to go BBQ. im really sorry that i cant turn up. really sorry. friends are always important to me. like what i told Yisi, whenever she is down, i will be around. this time i am around for a friend, hope she understand.

im hungry. cant get anyone for supper. zzz.

was reading CLEO last night. was engrossed when i reached the 50 bachelors. was interested in knowing what kind of ladies attraches men of my age groups. so the conclusion is most guys like independent and confident ladies. haha. im independent now. but confident... hm... maybe. im not confident as in my image. zzz. really serious in losing weight.

jogging under the humid sun around 12pm. didn't run far. got really exhuasted. had maggie mee for brunch with mummy's special sauce. ;p watching Miss No Good since yesterday. haha. super funny. ;p wondering why the story in drama don't really happens in real life. ;/

i really enjoy rotting home now. ;p

i have a date tomorrow. ;p

i rather be out than stay home again. cause i have finish watching miss no good. and still deciding to watch rolling love or not, there's quite a few parts to one episode can, not like miss no good. haha.

going to the movies with Clement, Jianlong's friend whom i met during Mahjong, to watch he is just not that into you. he've been commenting a lot in my FB status. haha. hope we don't have "no-topic" moments tomorrow. ;p

Jianlong queuing for SG flyer tickets tomorrow early in the morning. haha. he be with his... crush ?! will seems like a double date can ?! whatever... im free anyway. 

was watching TV shows with xiao zhu in youtube. haha. he is just so perfect... to me. ;p

aw.... SG flyer tix are gone. haha. 

its okay. Clement treating me to the movies. ;p

slept at 3am last night. cough relaps. ;/ IT show 09 job hunting last night.. after midnight. lol. hope i get listed. thanks Yida for the intro. ;p 

GOOD LUCK !!

btw, received a warning to stay away from Bugis. hope nothing happens to SG. 

watched He is just not that into you with Clement at Marina Square. nice show. very interesting.

then went to Bugis to look for Jianlong and Yongjia for dinner. then planned to go timbre, which was changed to O bar, but was in slippers. haha. headed to Eski Bar to chill. ;p then head to Yongliang's house for mahjong which also change to blackjack. haha. reached home at around 7am and woke up around 1.30pm with no one at home. haha. 

so caught in the middle with the jobs coming to me. argh!!!! 

to people who have watched the show and maybe guys out there. 

if a guy tells you to text him what does it mean ? i don't want to act like those female characters in the show who think too positively, thinking that they have the chance. sometimes im really forgetting what i really want. my aim = no rush for a relationship and im still enjoying my singlehood. ;p im just creating more choices for myself. =x

whenever i looked at myself in the mirror, im glad that my tummy have flatten, not totally though and i think i need some firming lotion. its so jumpy. dont laugh alright. then also glad that my arms ain't that flabby as before, my muscles are out ! strong and hard ! ohhoo ! ;p and also need to be firm. ;/

last night Roger was saying that he is feeling bored and wants club it. LOL. no urge for me yet. ;p then he start "Just dance Right now na na na" in MSN. and he told Swing that he is "Brian". the guys are coming up with christian names to cover their own identity. WTF. Jianlun is Sting, Eric *something*(cant rmb), Yida is Eddy(if im not wrong), Heechai is Ray then Roger is Brian. WTF. 

i think my insomnia is back. i cant get to sleep last night. before i head for bed, im so moodless for anything. chatting with Leslie and he gave me a link. its call the cube and its a personality test. its interesting. ;p http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqMS8qusbNc go try it out ! ;p

i sent my resume to a few companies and i need some replies !! argh !!!

im starting to consider what phone im getting next already. since there's a line of dad's ending in march. ;p time for a new phone since my V9's reception have gone worst after servicing it. ;/ but still i like the phone alot. still aiming. ;p

oh ya ! I DID WENT SHOPPING TO WATSONS ! bought Nivea's firming lotion, St. Ives blue clay Firming mask and St. Ives makeup remover/cleanser. tried them, the firming mask makes my face feels fresh and smooth, firming wise, maybe, for the makeup remover/cleanser, it feels gentle and mild, love the feel of my face. ;p just need to see if its oily tomorrow morning, cuase clean & clear deep clean no longer keep my oily face dry. zzz...

head to Rivervale Plaza after dinner with parents and choco to get some food. cause the tom yam glass noodle wasn't nice and everyone just give up eating it. LOL. dad was really afraid that the golden retriever we met would bite choco. its really friendly. and im really gonna get a new leash for choco. the owner of the retriever assumed that choco is a bitch. -.-" sorry choco, this leash used to be presen's. =x

after chatting with Heechai, i finally know why im so caught up. i think im just afraid of having another relationship. like what Jianlun say, once bitten twice shy. and i don't want to hurt anyone, nor i want to get myself hurt. came up with those expectations of a guy which i dont used to do.

the person i am now thinks that isn't it good to have guys around me than just lock to one guy ?! this is fun. but i didn't do anything bad... yet ?! is there like a part time bf ?! somehow thinking of how a player thinks. my devil is ruling. i can crush on anyone and talked about it so openly now, im so free ~ somehow flirting around, "its-free-anyway" kind of thinking.

sometimes my angel brings me back to my true self. knowing what's right and wrong.

but its just that, i couldn't decide on which side to take and who im going to become. i can say i do enjoy the life now and somehow getting addicted to it.

its my choice to make now. i hope i didn't hurt any innocent party, if i did, im really sorry.

wah wah wah !! gonna clarify things.

no one taught me anything about following my devil. and no one is the be blamed for the state i am in now. to be honest, im very deeply scarred. and i hope that by enjoying now is the way to make it heal. since being attached, there're some things i wouldn't do, why dont just make them happen since im not now. live life once and why not ?! haha.

its just the devil is finally taking over. previously, i knew it that im losing control. now, somehow i did and realizing it. i still know what im doing, i have my limits and not gonna overdo it.

to emphasis again, NO ONE TAUGHT ME TO FOLLOW MY DEVIL. Heechai, don't give me a shock. cause losing u as a friend, means losing 3 khakis (you, Roger and Jianlun). LOL. =x seriously, i wouldn't want to lose any friends now and in the future. its not easy to get close friends after sec sch, and to some who knows, i dont have much close friends in sec sch. and also lost some during r/s. ;/

so lost.

maybe its better this way ?!

i can survive alone. i can give myself happiness too. 

haiz...

cause of the appearance of guyA, i understand what state am i in now. and givig guyA a chance. then guyB appeared. guyA told me to tell guyB to stop his craps. LOL. both guyA and guyB knew each other's exsistance. =x okay, i know im mean. HAHAHA. 

things are getting complicated ! who knows, maybe all along there is a guyC ?! LOL. maybe.

im just not the usual me today. didn't get a good night sleep. gloomy. brain not functioning well. not in a great state. 

Ziyang told his bunk mates that he is on the phone with his gf when he is on the phone with me. haha. >.< Elieen told me to choose him. i know he is nice. i just afraid... afraid to hurt him. cause he is friend. i no longer have confidence in relationships. i rather get a fling on the street than a friend. haiz... but i do start feeling for him, maybe cause of our flirting around all day long. =x

no denial, im thinking of him and already had 2 insomnia night. when i close my eye, he just appeared. my mind just cant stop thinking no matter how hard i force myself to sleep. i can only force myself to think of other things.

im being very protective even though i have feelings for him... cause i just dont want to get hurt. 

made quite a few private entries for myself in the future. cause i dont think is nice to expose who is guyA. and might as well hide the identity of guyB. ;/

cause guyA is ............. =x it will sounds weird to most that we're in contact. and know quite a lot about him too. haha.

think is... he is friend. and i dont want to hurt him since ive lost my reason to love and commit. im starting to have feelings for him now. its just that i have no confidence already.

its not easy to make me love again when im not willing to. i just cant make myself to. maybe time will tell. if he's someone else, i might just fling it. haha. my devil is really ruling over.

dont feel like mj tomorrow. zzz. just hope someone will ask me out. argh ! hopefully the someone will ask me out.

guyA said that if he is booking out today, he will be in Sengkang by now. wtf !! really flirting can. haha. we started chatting on the phone already. haha. did i say, i start having feelings for him ?! haha. yup. 

here comes guyC. ;p

web cam-ed with guyA this morning. haha. as usual with the blur look. haha. 

then accompanied Roger to get some presents for his girl friends. there's rose gold plated custom made name necklace can !!! I WANT IT !!!!! but not willing to spend the money..... on myself. its FREAKING $119 !!! damn it. He got 2 necklace over there and one can be collected today with engraving and needs to wait. so went to watch Marley and Me. its nice and touching. then headed back. walked home after alighting at compass point which rained while im halfway home. zzz. soaked in rain water though ive an umbrella.

i don't know how the hell guyA made me missed him. i was waiting for his message throughout the whole Marley and Me. and he claimed that he's waiting for my message too. maybe my message didn't get through. ;/

im really tired. need some quality sleep! my eyes are closing can !