went zoo today with Junlong. woke up super early. LOL.

managed to walk the whole ZOO !! but missed one of the shows. and it rained today. ;\ but nvm !

so we walked the whole ZOO by foot, walked under drizzling rain, also under a small pathetic umbrella, ate Ben and Jerry's and drink cold water when its cold enough out side after that had a boat ride and the bumpy tram ride (which made me dizzy).

then had dinner @ his place. i didn't know vege can be eaten raw. that vege was crunchy and sweet ?! but later turns bitter. (interesting huh !! ;p)

photos time !!

Junlong and Me

there is a lot of things, a lot of concerns on my mind right now. 

am i ready for this ?

ANOTHER BATCH OF CHEESECAKE IS OUT !! 

brought it for Junlong and friends to try. Junlong say its yummy. >.<

i really love my cheesecake ! Wesley wanted to come my house and eat everything up !! already have 2 learners. BUT MY SECRET RECEIPE WILL NOT LEAK OUT ! ;p

WAH !! CRAVES FOR COD FISH PASTA !! >.<

so hungry and sleepy now. ;(

hanged out @ Adam's place last night after work. this time Gwen joined us. we drank like 15 cans of beer + some vokda + red wine. =x i drank till i got really tired. LOL. they are great people to be with. 

I HIT MY STATS and first time doing outbound !! >.< 

thanks for the message.. ;p

crying deep down without tears. this feeling is damn F up. feeling damn bad. 

just poured out my feelings. i really can't make any decisions. have been hurting people. im really sorry. i dont want to hurt anyone. i rather be the one being hurt.

im so confused. let me be alone for awhile.

please give me some time to recover. phobia in love.

小鬼 - 不屑

事情如果那麽簡單那就好了
想讓自己不見
瞬間就統統消滅
人類如果沒有心臟那就好了
受傷不會流血
悲傷也不會流淚

不需要有同類
傳染頹廢
不需要愚昧的尊嚴
不需要去偷竊你的思念
自我安慰

就讓我僞裝
我嘴角不屑
讓孤獨乘以更孤獨的兩倍
允許我保留我最後一點點特權
赦免我想念你的心碎
如果我眼神裏閃爍不屑
可能我心裏一半已經殘廢
那一半跟著你走遠了的那一天
這一半漸漸已瓦解

如果我還有一點點不屑
别想要說服我純潔的絕對
我只是世界上物種絕種的絕類
悄悄的失眠了一光年

如果我還有一點點不屑
那是我自己虛榮心在作祟
自以爲或許有一天我們會重疊
我可以再愛你第二遍

IM CHOINGING OT  NEXT WEEK ON !

I SAW KATE SPADE NEW DESIGNS AND I WANT THEM !!! >.<

i want a tote, a tote !! 

love this !

oh ya.. that time i saw that monogram LV wallet i like. damn !! mummy still owe me one. (FYI, mummy promised to get a wallet cause i grad poly, but the gucci wallet i want is no longer selling. T.T being smoked by her. ;( )

met with Agnes just now with Ethel and Wendy. had dinner @ AMK. then met with JL and Jon to head home. spies trying to be invisible. -.-"

emo-ing almost the whole day today still, till i hitting my stats. and I HIT STATS TODAY despite for low call volume. YEAH !

that kate spade bag is a disappointment. ;\

im still under confusion. 

im going SENTOSA !! >.< 

my tummy ache still did not recover after 3 days of torture. ;(

sentosa was fun !! played volleyball and captain ball ! fun fun fun ~

but im emo

after dinner, met up with Jeremy. will be our last time meeting before he get enlist this friday. we took a scroll aimlessly in Sengkang, drinking Carlsberg. He walked me home after that. remembered the first time we met, we dont have any common topic and him being a quiet person, really hard to communicate, but its better now. though he doesn't want me to treat him this way, but he is buddy material. >.<

people with different lifestyle is like people from different worlds.

its Junlong's enlist day today. though we knew each other for not long, but quite abit of things happened. now, his insecurity is making me mad. flooding my inbox with all his text messages/call me on my number when i did not reply him. he have grown too much to me so fast that im suffocating. this will lead to nowhere. im no longer the dependent girl i was before nor i want someone to depend on me. 

went to huimin's place yesterday afternoon. Tobi and Rex have grown a lot !! and when i reached home, choco sniff my whole body. LOL.

let me be.

some photos taken @ adam's house. but no adam. he was on the phone else sending Joee home. haha.

Zhiwei and Wenyan playing 5, 10.













lady gaga poker face2 ?! LOL.

damn tired.

let me be the bad person. put all the blame on me. hate me for being a player and that im not worth anything from you. we're just not meant for each other. 

i'd been feeling bad and stressed. i am lost in how to get things straight. i dont want to hurt you. i want to just fade off slowly. i felt bad everytime i led someone down. 

hai..

let karma come to me. you will find someone you want someday. 

im really really sorry. just let me go, i dont want to hurt you anymore.

Meeting up with Chelsea and Agnes is cancelled. so met Jeremine for LAN. played a few hours and head home. might be going out for supper with Wesley.

my skin is starting to peel. ;(

that night went for supper with Wesley. we ate a lot. Wesley was kinda shock that i wanted to order so much. i ate a prata, a prata with egg, shared 15 beef satay,shared maggie mee goreng and drank milo dinosaur. HOHO !! 

8.5hrs of work again yesterday ! call stats is getting worst with 20+ available agents and no call queue. zzz.

when to alleybar after work. i drank 2 pints and im down. down as in falling asleep. damn tired. Ethel leaked part of my secret out. now, they knew that there's something im not telling them. thought pt time dont have secrets, but this is what i cannot tell. when to Adam's place after that. reached home around 5.30am. =x

my pay is here ! gonna go watson and do some shopping ~

i guess you finally get what i wanted to express all along. acutally, i assumed you get what i meant after i told you off that night. i take it that you're angry with me now and maybe for the rest of your life after you heard what heechai told you. i dont want to cause any harm, that is why im not replying your messages. i intend to just fade off slowly, but now it ended up another way. i dont want to cause any hurt nor ruin your time in NS. hate me for all you want, as long as u could move on.

you just dont know me well.. don't you say that we could have more time. it wont work. 

enough of the confession.

went to Gmax inverse bungy with Wendy, Ethel, Sunny, Wesley and Gwen (aka Martha). i got a free ride !! the fear is MAX ! its gives you the hanging feelings and the oh-my-god-im-crashing kind of feelings. updates soon. gonna sleep. 

very shag today @ working this morning. ordered pastamania !! XD gotta rant about this customer, ruined my mood and image. KNN !! i understand that she is in panic that her kid got stranded in overseas. she wanted me to hurry to check whatever F she wants and be responsible if something happen to her kid ! F YOU !! to be honest, who is the F one who let that kid of alone ?! so everything is any other person's fault/responsibility and never yours. she was like screaming away at me. im just doing my job, the more you scream, the longer it gets. complain me for your F biz. unreasonable people deserves worst karma on earth.  

enought of my rantings. went for porridge with Ethel and Wendy after work at Serangoon. spend a lot on food today. and my fats are manipulating ! LOL.

alright, here to blog on Gmax night. Wesley was damn excited and Wendy was kinda nervous during work. LOL. but just before the ride, it becomes opposite. LOL. then after the Gmax, they rested and went got GX5. i got a free ride for GX5 !! somehow to balance the weight as there were 5 sets. Wendy was saying that the guy staff who let me ride was flirting with me all the way. =x after the GX5 ride, our head was so pain. Sunny vomited. after that went to Brewerks. drunk a tower of HOPE beer. specially brewed from the bar. not that nice though. then headed back.

SH Harold and Kumar

as for yesterday ~ its my first 1.5x OT !! >.< worked 8.5hrs. ended work @ 11.30pm. then headed to Adam's house since 'the regulars' are all present. =x cleared the 1/2 bottled red wine owed during previous game. Wenyan drank the most. and i think i drank the least. =x damn tired, when home around 5.30am. LOL. 

im going Phuture tomorrow !! F my idea to stop going. i need a relief of the stressful days. pimples are popping out already. damn. suppose to go mambo @ Zouk. Ethel suggested it, but ended up changing to next wk. already looking forward to it as it will be my first time, but postponed, so joined Desmond and friends. everyone is asking me to Phuture tmr and maybe can drop by and check out mambo. everyone is like going Phuture, TKD is going cus its his friend's birthday. Desmond going cus he quitted his job and finally can make it for a wednesday, Samuel and Huimin confirm going, but was random. LOL. next Wednesday going with 'the regulars' and a few to mambo ! >.<

the FEELING is back ! 

(oooo-oooo)
Cant tell me nothing now baby i know how to fly 
(ooooooo) 
Cant nothing hold me down im going to touch the sky 
(o-o-o-o-o-o) 
Cant nothing, hold me down
(o-o-o-o-o-o)

by Pitbull - Shut it down

tall commando guys are so so HOT ! XD 

im so so gonna catch this !! >.<

ytd, Phuture was so crowded till i got so pissed and wanted to whack someone. at the ending of the party, i was actually standing there not dancing. i hopped into mambo @ Zouk. was a lot a lot better !! There's a guy who really can move. LOL. its Huimin's first time partying and her friends were there too. nice group of people. last night, i didn't drink much. 1 flaming Lambo, 1/2 Tequila, 2 glasses of Martell (drink like drinking shots. =x), 3/4 white western(i think so)

saw Fulong, Zhiwei, ZhengWei and some HP promoter there too ! ;p

Mambo next week !! >.<

just had supper with Ethel and Wendy. teo chew porridge !! starting to get addicted and craving for it. =x 

im working tomorrow !! >.<

today marks the last day with Weijian, our sister chris. LOL. now for my batch, its left with Nicholas and me standing. ;(

just came back from dinner with FYPJ people or i could say IT0601 people. only 4 of us went. Tobias, Titus, Huimin and me. had Ichiban Sushi !! >.< *BURPS* watched The Ugly Truth ! nice show. Colin in the show is HOT ! haha. 

my temper is boiling anytime. F word just comes out of my mouth so fluently. customers are becoming too overboard. testing my patience and boil my temper. you want something, you ask nicely, didn't parent teach their kids these way ?! 

im sentosa-ing tmr ! hehehe.. 

sentosa was cancelled. ;(

spent most of my time watching movies at home. woke up late too. bath my choco, paint my nails. stuff to occupy myself when im home. 

went to compass point with dad after dinner. seriously, my temper is at its worst now. impatience is getting thin when im in a stressed up state. F ! kids were running like they have no parents and scream like as if they are in a playground. im going nuts there. home is still better for me for the moment when i can be in peace and not get pissed off so easily.

watched Alien in the Attic with bf ytd @ AMK. it was a alright show. we both were freezing in the cinema, though ive a jacket. ;p

to whom that mistaken, bf is not boyfriend. ;\

didn't had enough of partying last night. ;\

last minute have a change of venue. then while waiting for Wendy for her friend's bday celebration i was there hanging and have nothing to do. got ready at 7plus as me and Wendy should be meeting at 8.30. so decided to go Powerhouse get my membership card. forgot to take when i sign up for it on my bday. just night Wendy called and said she is ready to go out.

so since the venue not set yet, met Wendy to go down to Powerhouse for my card first and sign some people in. my usual party gang was there. after that cabbed to meet Wenyan at Butter Factory. was like 12am already. then waited for Zhiwei, Ethel and Gwen to reached. then went in and drink drink drink.

1x apricot brandy, 2x jug of cranberry vodka, 2x beer, few glasses of Jagerbomb. Gwen and me cheers all the way. we shared one jug of cranberry vodka and 1 1/2x glass of Jagerbomb ! ohho ~ somehow wasn't to the extend of super high.

met Zhiwei, my last time colleague from Motorola, he treated me a glass of whiskey lime. and heard Zhengwei was there too. i met them last week at Phuture. its another coincidence. ;p

when the guys got high, we went into the dance floo r. i didn't get enough of partying this time. ;\ the dj ended with a slow song. zzz. WHAT HAPPEN ?!?!?!?!?!?!

actually, suppose to go mambo. but when we went to the mambo side, it was RnB. and there wasn't a big crowd. 

came upon this video clip in FB linked by Heechai. damn touching. 

makes me remember about the movies 10 promises to my dog and Marley & me.

in the show 10 promises to my dog.. 

1. Listen patiently to me.
2. Trust me. I am always on your side.
3. Play with me a lot.
4. Don’t forget that I have feelings, too.
5. Let’s never fight. Someday I’ll win!
6. If I don’t obey you, I have a good reason.
7. You have school and friends, but I have only you.
8. Stay my best friend even when I’m old.
9. I’ll only live about 10 years, so let’s make every moment together count.

and also in Marley&Me.. the show ended with the quote..

"A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbol means nothing to him. A waterlogged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn't care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his. It was really quite simple, and yet we humans, so much wiser and more sophisticated, have always had trouble figuring out what really counts and what does not. As I wrote that farewell column to Marley, I realized it was all right there in front of us, if only we opened our eyes. Sometimes it took a dog with bad breath, worse manners, and pure intentions to help us see."
— John Grogan

just got home ! from watching Time Traveler's wife and slacking. watching the movie with Desmond. met Heechai @ somerset. the movie is nice !! love it. 

then after the movie, walked to Orchard Central and took lame photos with Desmond. LOL. ;p then Heechai came to join us. Heechai watching ugly truth again with Dingjun and ShengZhi. so slacked till their movie started.

seriously, im gonna miss those times like this with the guys.

damn pissed off. thanks to my hot temper too.

im even on fire when dad yelled at me that he is at home and not willing to fetch me back. yelled !!

went work for OT specially to get my stats up for the month. then specifically one race of customer pissed me off for a few times. they F-ing naive. GO GET A LIFE THEN TO DO STUFF THAT RUINS PEOPLE'S DAY ! 

moreover, dad yelled at me. mum says she doesn't work my share. (i only ate a sandwich)

took a bus home, which dropped me at a bus stop with a longer walking distance home so i could simmer down, which i didn't. reached home and stomped into my room. took a cold bath. mum came to my room offer to cook for me. dad came too offer me allowance and to fetch me to work.

i turned them down and got even boiled up. im not in a state of talking now. 

all i could say is that they don't know me.